Sympathy
by Durandall
Summary: After a rare, but tense confrontation in the clubroom, Haruhi wishes more than anything that she and Kyon could somehow switch places and understand one-another better...
1. Prologue: Understand

Sympathy

A 'Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' fanfiction

Prologue - Understand

Disclaimer: The novel series of Suzumiya Haruhi that began with 'The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' is the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. No disrespect is intended by the posting of this fanfiction, as I do not own the characters or settings involved. I'm merely dabbling with another set of paints.

Notes: Diverges at some vague point in novel nine. May contain spoilers to that point.

* * *

I have a pretty good memory for the timing of things, and I like things to happen neatly, symmetrically.

But it's also a huge pain in the ass to wait until that happens.

The day being one year to the day that a certain particularly good dream - the details of which you don't need to know - is it really _that_ unreasonable to want to see a similar pattern?

Not identical - that would be boring. Similar.

More interesting, more exciting ... well ... something like that. More meaningful, at least.

It was one of those uncooperative days, though, where things didn't really go the way I like. It goes without saying, but it ticks me off when that happens; I always get that annoying sense of tension in the back of my head. I'm too young for it to be blood pressure, but it's no joke to say that the source of these pains is almost always the insubordinate.

Lately, there has been some tension, though ... and centered around him, of course. He's been more and more irritable ever since that time we ran into that girl he knew from...

That thought in mind, when I look up from the monitor, I see him staring morosely at the game board across from Koizumi-kun. It's chess, and as always, Kyon is kicking Koizumi-kun's ass. It's one of those things where you can tell his heart isn't in it, though; he's just crushing his opponent absently instead of stringing him along for dozens of turns.

Sometimes, when things are like this, I wonder if maybe he thinks similar things - that today feels off.

I want to think he's a jerk for not remembering what happened a year ago, to take it so casually... But he's kind of ignorant that way. Never pays attention when he should.

Then again, it's not like it's possible he'd know about it, given it was my dream.

More of that tension.

"What's eating you, Kyon?" I finally chide him.

He glances over at me with a raised eyebrow, frowning more intently before settling back into his chair. He probably thinks I can't tell what he's doing, but it's pretty obvious when he thinks he's gearing up for some sort of confrontation.

Just what I didn't need.

"I've got a bit of trouble," he acknowledges, nodding. "So, I don't think I can make this weekend's mystery search."

I give him a look every bit as unimpressed as I feel. "What lame excuse do you have this time?" I wonder.

He takes a breath at that, not _quite_ a sigh of resignation, but I can read it for what it is. He thinks he has it so tough? I try staring him down, but as always, he seems totally indifferent.

"I don't have enough money," he says.

I can only continue to stare at him for a minute. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Koizumi-kun frowns, looking between us, giving that creepily studying look he sometimes gets. Mikuru-chan fidgets in her seat with a look of intent concentration, as though she were trying to understand something difficult. Yuki just flips to the next page of her book - _Time Enough for Love_, today.

"I seem to have somehow spent almost my entire savings over the last year without really realizing it," Kyon mutters. Not satisfied with giving me just his typical snark, he looks at me intently, crossing his arms over his chest as though somehow _I_ had lost his money.

"Well, that sucks for you, but I don't see how your financial irresponsibility has anything to do with us meeting up for the mystery searches. What, do you need train fare?" I grumble at him.

"Yes... A connection between an activity where penalties can be awarded, and me having no money," Kyon muses.

"Kyon, you advance stupidity to whole new frontiers," I notify him, shaking my head. "If you didn't screw up and get penalized, this would never have been a problem!"

His face twitches for a moment, and one eyebrow gives a small tick-

Okay- Back up.

He pisses me off sometimes, but if there's one thing I really can't stand, it's seeing _him_ truly pissed off.

I've seen that _twice_. Once was at the friends of some girl he knew from middle school, not that long ago. I still haven't been able to find out why. It must have been pretty bad, though, because...

The other time he got really pissed off-

Anyway, I can't let him say something stupid, so I quickly say, "Well, I guess it's a given you're always penalized, so that does completely undermine the point of the system. Trust you to ruin a good idea... So, fine, you can be exempt to penalties, since they weren't helping anyway."

He closes his eyes and looks away. "Even-" he starts abruptly, turning to face me with his eyes open before biting it off.

Shit, is it _really_ that bad? I mean ... how many penalties has it been, anyway?

Come to think of it ... there's been maybe five times ever when it wasn't him...

...and there was that time I was the last one there and made him pay anyway...

Okay, he was being a genuine _ass_ that day, and it was just the two of us, but still- In the grand scheme of things...

I guess that could be kind of a lot of money, couldn't it?

Damn- How can I fix this?

"I don't like that look," he says suddenly, in a very dubious tone.

"Ah, Kyon-kun," Koizumi-kun murmurs, finding his voice suddenly, "if finances are a concern, as you know, I have a part-time job- I could find you employment-"

"I'll still pass on that one," Kyon says, looking at the other boy as though he just said something particularly distasteful.

What's up with _that_? If he's passing on a chance to make more money... He can't really be that lazy - not if the money really bothers him. Can he?

"Stop being so difficult!" I tell him. "Get to the point already - what does it take to get you to quit moping? Since this is such a big deal- Fine, I'll cover everyone's expenses for this weekend, okay?"

Kyon just shakes his head and stares at the table.

"Well?" I press. If he can't say what the hell is wrong, it's never going to get fixed - and all this internalization to keep him from getting pissed off is seriously getting me worked up!

"I... I'm not feeling well," Kyon decides, suddenly standing up. "It's... I'm sure everything will be fine; I just need to rest."

"Just say what's really bothering you, already!" I snap, unable to keep my irritation completely in.

"U...um," Mikuru-chan hesitantly begins, her eyes going between Kyon and me hurriedly. "D...don't fight..."

God - what a pain! Kyon doesn't know half of what I do for him; the jerk should try seeing things from _my_ perspective once in a while!

Kyon looks even more annoyed for a moment, and then I really wish that were true - that maybe I could see things from _his_ side well enough to know what the hell was bothering him so much.

That annoying pressure in the back of my head suddenly disperses, and I feel dizzy - like a rush of cold flowing out from my head to the reaches of my body, and then even further, away from me completely...

Kyon lurches to one side, almost toppling over, but thrusting one hand out. It ... it seems for a moment like a chair suddenly slides across the floor to meet his grasp, saving his balance. It could have been a trick of the light or something...

"What the hell was that?" I wonder.

Kyon might be clumsy, but I felt _something_, and it was simultaneous. No way I'm letting this go!

"Oh," Kyon says suddenly, his hand rising, staring at it in fascination.

Mikuru-chan yelps in alarm, charging to my side and wrapping her arms around me as she shivers nervously. At the same time ... unless I'm seeing things ... something truly amazing _did_ happen, whatever the hell it was!

"What... Kyon-kun, if what I think just happened took place," Koizumi-kun says slowly, his voice taking on a keen edge of worry, "I believe you need to remain calm."

"Why the hell do you think you know what happened?" I demand. "Seriously- Start explaining what's going on!" I know that Koizumi-kun hides things from me - it's a given with how obvious he is - but something of _this_ magnitude?

"Am-" I cut myself off and look over my shoulder. Yuki is sitting in her seat, book in her lap as she stares intently at Kyon with her usual, unreadable expression. Mikuru-chan is still hanging onto me, trembling like a leaf. Koizumi-kun looks like he's seriously considering bolting from the room, either towards the door or the window.

"Stop this playing around!" I yell. This is too much, too fast! "Someone tell me what the hell is going on!"

"So ... you really think you can walk in my shoes?" Kyon asks curiously. He frowns, then shakes his head.

Koizumi-kun begins to tremble like Mikuru-chan, who begins sobbing wordlessly.

"Okay... Fine, then."

"Hey-" is the last thing that I get to say before it all goes dark.

Damn it, Kyon...


	2. Chapter 1: The Day I Met Him

Sympathy

A 'Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' fanfiction

Chapter One - The Day I Met Him

Disclaimer: The novel series of Suzumiya Haruhi that began with 'The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' is the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. No disrespect is intended by the posting of this fanfiction, as I do not own the characters or settings involved. I'm merely dabbling with another set of paints.

* * *

Most people are satisfied with achieving whatever they think is good enough, and then stopping there. But what's the point of that?

Taking an uninspired step in a well-worn path... It's fine to be able to do the same things as everyone else, sure, but don't get fooled into thinking that's the most important thing in the world!

So, I'm not at the top of the classes - I'm still pretty high up there. I have enough spare time after studying to investigate more interesting things, too. Okay, yeah, I could be going to the school at the bottom of the hill if I worked a little harder, but that'd be throwing my life away completely.

Plus, there's another reason to go to Kitago, anyway.

In some senses, and it really pisses me off to admit it, I'm not different from anyone else at all. Except for the fact that I realize it. To get really astounding grades, I'd have to give up all my free time entirely.

Maybe, over the last few years, I haven't found anything... But I haven't stopped looking, and this place will be no different.

If anything, this represents a whole new frontier of interesting and amazing things to find! A whole new population of students to search for something amazing - a demon, a hidden shrine maiden, a secret fighter for justice! A psionic warrior who fights against alien invaders from a dimension beyond time itself to protect our world - and the universe!

...was my initial expectation.

Something like that was what I had hoped for, at least.

Reality just has a way of letting you down. After enduring the opening speeches, watching closely - without hesitation - for any sign of the unusual, I saw nothing. The faces of the other students passing me were as blank and boring as anywhere else. Shiny new uniforms and dull faces.

Class just made things worse, with boring introduction after boring introduction. The most profound was the student directly before me, who seemed to go out of his way to sound even _less_ interesting!

After that, I'd heard enough, so let my frustrations be known, rising to my feet so quickly my chair slid back behind me, clattering against the desk of a student I remembered from last year in middle school. I slapped my palms against the top of my desk for extra emphasis, ignoring the sting from being a little too enthusiastic as I declare my name and my mission.

This draws Boring-kun's attention to me and he turns slowly around in his desk to look at me with the same expression as everyone else. As if to say, 'Was I for real?'

I had no time for that - or them - if they had nothing else to offer.

* * *

You would hope after making such a declaration that someone would come. That someone would approach, give you a little amused, slightly embarrassed smile, and start off a conversation that goes something like, "So ... do you really want to find out more about..."

And there, I'm not ... really sure what I expected to find. _Something_, though. At least a pointer to him!

But in the end...

...no one came.

At least, no one I cared about. A few girls approached me and tried to get me to talk about whatever mindless shows they watched. Asakura Ryouko was probably the most annoyingly persistent of them; I got the impression she wasn't going to give up, even if I _did_ stop talking to her. She's the kind of easy-going, popular girl that's likely to end up class representative. As if I'd fall for something like that?

Annoying meddlers... Like I care what she thinks? This is the absolute epitome of what I don't want to deal with!

And except for Asakura, all of them give up fairly quickly, so ... how sincere were they, in the first place?

You try and put up a strong front, and not to give up hope. Hell, I followed the clues left to me by that person back in middle school and came here to find something! I'm sure ... that person is long gone by now. Even so...

Does the trail of clues just end like that?

I can feel the beginnings of a truly frustrating depression welling up. When the chime between classes rings, I don't even bother to scout the school until the next chime, like I usually do. Instead I just wait at my desk.

Before I really have a chance to think about what that all means, Boring-kun turns halfway around in his seat and gives me a wary regard, one eyebrow raising as he gives me a curious half-smile. "Did you really mean that?" he asks, taking nearly a week to voice the question I saw on his face the first day I met him.

Yeah, that's some real initiative there, waiting until everyone else loses interest in me before you even say 'hello.' I bet you get all the girls, don't you?

Somehow, as dispirited as I am, I can't just tell him, 'Actually, lately I've been depressed and frustrated about not getting anywhere; maybe I should just quit. What do you think?'

I mean ... I can just say that. But quitting once someone has actually noticed what I'm doing? Thanks, Boring-kun, you may not have meant to, but you've reminded me I can't give up. Someone has to be special, different, and unique. And until I find that person, I may as well be the placeholder for them.

Glaring at Boring-kun's face ... what was his real name, anyway? I'll have to find out at some point, but no way in hell am I going to admit I forgot already. Well, shooting him an unimpressed look, even though I'm actually a little glad he noticed, I wait for him to say something else.

He looks only the slightest bit uneasy, weathering the gaze that sent the boy behind me running after a mere five minutes, back in middle school.

Okay, seriously lacking in initiative, but...

"About the aliens, espers, and time travelers," he clarifies, as though I didn't already know exactly what he was talking about.

Not impressing me so far, Boring-kun.

* * *

I don't need to ask Boring-kun himself to find out more about him. Anyway, if I did ask him, he'd just say what he thought I wanted to hear, not the truth. So, in order to find out more, I spend some time over the next weeks studying him.

He tries to talk to me every day, though I honestly can't really tell what he's getting at. He doesn't _seem_ to be moving towards asking me out, at least at first. I'm not sure what compels him to keep talking me, but it keeps me searching, so as annoying as he is ... he's useful, too.

In the meantime, from the opening athletic competition, I notice very quickly that Boring-kun is, or could be, a star athlete.

It's not too hard to linger near the other girls as they dumbly moon over the guys, saying which one is 'hottest,' and who's most likely to place well in the athletic teams. One of them must have shared a class with him in middle school, remarking on his nickname. 'Boring-kun' was nice, but he already hates his own nickname, so that's perfect; I can annoy him back just as much as he annoys me!

He set a record for the hundred meter dash, and generally did about as well as the top athletes. Despite all that, he's as lazy as he looks, and shows no interest in joining a club. Even when students approach him and ask him to join sports clubs, he politely defers with an explanation that he enjoys the 'going home' club just fine.

It could just be left at that, but Kyon's inexplicable athletic prowess is one of two odd factors about him. I could dismiss him being some sort of physical savant, just with good reflexes and in good shape, sure. Maybe he even has some part time job that just kept him remarkably healthy, and that's why he doesn't join any clubs.

It'd be fun to imagine him as a crime-fighter, patrolling the streets late at night, but I don't see him as having the personality for that. Jumping from rooftop-to-rooftop in the dead of night, probably wearing some sort of badass trenchcoat, like some ... big damn hero?

I wish!

Anyway, the other thing that sticks out about him doesn't come up until our first test. For a guy who seems to put no effort into studying, he sure aces every exam. He doesn't look like the most avid student, but without fail, the bigger idiots in the class - the student who sits behind me, and a pair of annoying girls named Saeki and Onoki - approach him to beg him for permission to copy his homework.

He doesn't much react to them, except to roll his eyes and hand his assignment over with a rueful grin.

I grumble about people who can't accomplish anything on their own, but he just ignores that to ask me about something else I did in middle school - the talismans I hung up everywhere, this time.

"What does it matter, if it didn't work?" I mutter at him. It's not like I can be that surprised that it's going around ... but who keeps telling him about me?

* * *

Kyon isn't the only thing I investigate, of course. There's a lot to search for, and at least one amazing person to find ... hopefully. Or some sign of him, right?

I don't find that, though.

Sure, I spend every lunch for a week checking the pool for kappa. I inspect the grounds and get used to finding the spots around campus where it's easy to hide under bushes - a few discarded packs of cigarettes betray most of them with no effort.

And, really ... that's the best thing you guys can think of to hide? That you _smoke_? Talk about being clever about being stupid...

It's not that hard to get into almost every locked room in the school, though I don't find anything good in all my searching. Certainly, no clues or notes on how to find ... him.

So, when everything else turns up blank, I've got a justifiable reason to investigate this guy - Kyon.

It doesn't take long to track down the girl that mentioned having a class with him last year - a girl named Sakanaka. I capture her on the way to homeroom one day, surprising her by grabbing her shoulder and spinning her around in the hall.

"W...what...?" she begins uncertainly, revealing a startled, panicked look.

Whatever. "Tell me what you know about Kyon," I bark at her. "You had a class with him last year?"

Her look becomes even more confused before understanding of some sort seems to dawn on her, and she offers me one of those empty smiles girls like her are _always_ sending one-another. "Oh, so that's why Saeki-chan..."

I can't imagine what pointless thing she's talking about; she thinks about it for a moment and then shakes her head.

"Um ... well! I can say that he doesn't appear to put much effort into academics, but always gets good grades! And you saw him during the athletic competitions, didn't you? He's not often motivated, but he's always been popular for sports in middle school! It's something of a surprise that he doesn't join a club, really; I'd think he'd be a natural for that."

Yeah, well, if I applied myself just a bit harder and focused on just one thing, I could join any sports club I wanted, probably.

They're too boring to stick with for more than a day, though.

So, as far as that goes ... Kyon's probably not a total idiot.

It's not much new, but probably Kyon doesn't have any amazing supernatural back-story for his classmates to all know about him so casually. I release Sakanaka's shoulder and nod thoughtfully.

"Ah, though..." She seems hesitant, and doesn't quite meet my eyes, giving me a shy, wary smile. "As I understand it, he's not actually dating anyone."

Another passing student catches this remark and freezes, shooting me a hard glance. It takes less than a minute for me to recognize Yanagimoto from middle school. "Serious?" she asks, glancing between Sakanaka and me. "Suzumiya's got a crush on someone?"

I give Yanagimoto a flat stare. Is that really what they think an investigation means? Is that the _only_ reason a girl would ask questions about a guy?

Aside from which ... even if he looks ... kind of similar to what I think I remember, Kyon's not the one I'm looking for!

"I know Kyon spent much of his time last year with a female classmate; she was ... a bit off-putting, and had trouble making friends. Still! It seemed they became quite close, and studied together to keep her out of cram school!" Sakanaka offers, sending me a hopeful, encouraging smile.

"Oh, this is too rich!" Yanagimoto chuckles, rolling her eyes and flashing her teeth in a grin. "So, he hung out with some awkward girl that no one else got on with? You should be set, Suzumiya! Sounds like your perfect match!"

That ... isn't the kind of information I was looking for, exactly. "What about his habits and behaviors?" I ask. "Strange associates? Mysterious circumstances? Any signs of hidden powers!"

"The legendary aloof 'beast girl' of East Middle school falling for Kyon! Haha!" Yanagimoto shakes her head and dashes to another nearby friend, whispering in her ear urgently and gesturing at me, before the pair both break into amused giggles, looking at me as though somehow, _they_ knew something I didn't, instead of the other way around.

Idiots.

Sakanaka gives them an unhappy frown, then offers an apologetic smile. Dismissing them, she shakes her head and says, "Um, really, that's about all I can say about him? I know he and Kunikida are close friends - probably, he'd be the best person to go to in order to discover more!"

And then he'd immediately tell Kyon that I was investigating him. While he _may_ be interesting, am I really willing to watch him slide into the same tired, predictable patterns as everyone else? I can imagine that happening, whatever potential he does have vanishing into a tide of unremarkable teenage hormones.

But then ... I suppose that would be him showing his true colors, wouldn't it?

And thanks to Yanagimoto trying to start a rumor about me - a rumor that no one else from East Middle school will believe, I expect - that's going to be what happens.

Except ... it isn't.

* * *

I have to admit, being caught by the shoulder the same way I originally grabbed Sakanaka was an unusual experience, but not a particularly pleasant one. I spun around, only halfway intentionally, since I was moving fast enough, and quickly planted my feet, glaring into the deep blue eyes of the girl that had accosted me.

"What do you want?" I growl at Asakura Ryouko.

Her expression is surprisingly flat, though her eyes narrow and she gives me a very small frown. "Suzumiya-san," she starts in a warning tone, "I need to discuss your intentions with Kyon-kun."

...what? My _intentions_? "How is this even your business?" I wonder.

"Your business is not mine," she says carefully. "But Kyon-kun is a good boy, and well liked by his friends. I don't think it will go well for you if you're trying to cause him trouble or lead him on!"

"Are you serious?"

"Absolutely," she swears, her look becoming even more solemn.

Well, this is the girl who's probably going to be class representative. I guess, to some degree, it makes sense.

Still! "What does it matter to you, anyway? Unless _you're_ planning on asking him out?" I snap, ignoring the other students around us.

Her eyes track to one side briefly, then back to mine. "Well, since fair is fair, if I do, should I expect your interference?" she returns.

"Like I give a damn what he does!" I counter, glowering at her, prompting her to release my shoulder as her eyebrows rise. "Or you, either! Whatever it is, it's not _my_ problem, so just back off!"

Her response is a quiet, "I see..." and a smile that doesn't seem to really reach her eyes as I storm away.

Stupid people and their pointless, inaccurate labels!

That's so... She's so fake, anyway! Like she even knows Kyon? Onoki knows him better than Asakura does!

Annoyed, but not really sure about why, I skip homeroom and redouble my efforts to find something hidden. And, maybe a little, I also go off to a corner of the school where no one else will get in my way or distract me.

It isn't too hard to find a container of tennis balls, and from the roof of the main building, I can _just_ pitch them at the decorative dome on top of the adjacent building - the one with no roof access.

Like that isn't suspicious? What's inside that dome, anyway?

Maybe they're only tennis balls, but if they knock something open, revealing a hidden entrance - maybe a secret compartment full of notes! Hey, while we're at it, maybe he's there, inside, just waiting...

But, really, I can't make myself think anything except that I'm flinging tennis balls at a remote rooftop for no reason. I can hear a nice metallic ringing noise when the balls bounce off the sides of the dome, but that's absolutely it.

Maybe something exciting will happen over Golden Week?

Hopeful for that, I keep glaring at the distant dome and pitching until I run out of tennis balls, wiping at my eyes when the wind makes them water too much.

Stupid...

* * *

The next day of school, after a vacation too disappointing to discuss, when Kyon gets to class and sits down in front of me, he turns around and starts talking to me like he usually does. I guess ... he must have been investigating me a little bit. I've been investigating him, so how long did I _really_ expect to keep it in the dark?

Rumors really do get around, huh?

I guess, actually, I wanted him to find out maybe even earlier. Somehow, the question he asks is just the perfectly wrong combination of words; it makes me angrier than I should be:

"So," he starts without preamble, "I hear there's a rumor going on about the two of us."

At least he leaves it at that, instead of trying to take credit for it - or put the blame on me. Still! I'm _Suzumiya Haruhi_! Am I just going to let my investigation turn into something so ... cliche and predictable?

Hell no!

"And what if it's true?" I snap, shooting him a glower. "Would someone as unmotivated as you _do_ something about it?"

He snorts, looking amused. "Well ... if one rumor is true, two might be, as well. According to that, the best record is just a week, and we've been talking before class longer than that. I'm satisfied with what we have, really."

Somehow ... that ... felt like the right answer. I think I'd be angrier if he said almost anything else there. I can't actually think of anything else I'd rather have heard him say. But at the same time, it _still_ makes me angry!

As though our discussions even come close to proper conversation, anyway... But ... they have become a daily thing, haven't they?

Not sure why, but annoyed anyway, I give him my well-rehearsed rant about 'love.' Sure, even I ... sometimes get those lapses in judgment.

But that's all they are!

As far as him...

He's still annoying, but he's not a total idiot, and it's a useful kind of annoying.

* * *

I didn't mean it to be that way. It just happened.

Everyone is subject to patterns - repeating behaviors because they're familiar. Even if you try and devote yourself to never being static, and to always being something that changes ... sometimes, it takes someone even more static and less impressive to point out that you've fallen into a rut, too.

The first time it happens, it's like a stinging slap on the wrist, a painful reminder that you've strayed and wandered into territory you'd planned on avoiding.

I wasn't sure how to feel about it. He hadn't cracked the system entirely, but he'd figured enough of it out. He missed the significance of the colors, and he didn't realize that I started counting with zero instead of one.

But even _Kyon_ saw through what I was doing.

I could try and tell myself that it didn't matter; if I was trying to attract the attention of the unusual, the unnatural, wouldn't some normal and boring people notice me, too?

It pissed me off that I went so far out of my way to attract the attention of something or someone _amazing_ ... and all I got was _Kyon_. Stupid hair! I don't need to look good for _Kyon_, I need to get the attention of someone else!

That's why my hair was cut that morning.

I didn't need to focus so much on a dead-end, did I? If changing it all the time only gets _his_ attention...

Except, I'm so distracted by the idea of Kyon's reaction to my new hair, I totally miss Sakanaka coming up behind me in the hall outside of class. "Um ... Suzumiya-san, that's a very ... interesting style choice!" she remarks slowly.

"It's efficient," I reply tersely. Hell, her hair is shorter, too. Just like Yanagimoto's, come to think of it.

While they aren't friends, seeing the two of us side-by-side, the other girl in question joins the pair of us, smirking at me. "Trying a new hairstyle to get his attention?" Yanagimoto heckles.

"I...if so, that's probably the ideal choice, then," Sakanaka agrees reluctantly, offering an uncertain smile. "Your hair is ... rather an awful lot like the girl he spent so much time with in middle school, now!"

By the time he comes to class, I've managed to work some ribbons into my hair, changing it to something that Sakanaka unhappily agrees is different from ... whoever, anyway. Come to think of it, I had the same color ribbons when I met that person in middle school, didn't I?

I don't know why it bothers her so much, but to be completely honest ... I'm not sure why it bothers _me_ so much, either. Trying not to think about it, once class starts, I watch Kyon covertly. Taniguchi, the last straggler to still bother Kyon for homework, copies answers frantically, trying to avoid being caught by the teacher.

Onoki seems to have moved on to copying off Sakanaka, for some reason.

* * *

I had been putting off trying to join the Supernatural Research Society for last. You could say that I was saving the best for last, but really, it feels a lot more like I'm trying to delay yet another inevitable disappointment. What's the best I could hope for?

Well, the _best_ I could hope for is that the Supernatural Research Society is everything I want, and I'll get to meet him again!

What ... I actually get is a group that rivals the Mystery Research Club in terms of boring activities! A pack of ghoulish freaks who look like _they_ would burst into flame if they were exposed to proper sunlight! A bunch of giggling girls and two solemn, pale boys who take themselves far too seriously - and seem to get along all the same anyway.

As a group, unbelievably boring! The most repugnantly stagnant group dynamic ever!

Worse, they don't even actively _investigate_ supernatural phenomena, they only _discuss_ it! Please! How can you consider yourself a research society if you don't actually _research_?

Their defense is a pathetic excuse that books are a form of research too - this lot of people shouldn't even disgrace a club room with their formation! They should just be members of some other group, like that Literary Club. Heck, they're so pale, they look like they need sun even more than the one girl in that other club did! But her club could use members, and if these wastrels are just going to _read_, at least they'd be making room for legitimate researchers!

They don't really see it that way, of course.

Worthless group of occult freaks can't even find anything _real_ to research, and are way too narrow-minded for what 'Supernatural' means, anyway.

The biggest disappointment of the entire year so far! With something so unbelievably lame, and no real sign of him... I'm forced to admit that if it weren't for Kyon, reminding me that I couldn't give up ... I probably would have.

* * *

After that ... though he was still annoying, I couldn't figure out why. He kept talking to me, though, so I kept talking back. Answering his questions, more than anything else.

I wanted to be angry at him for being so annoying, and a little bit, I was. I couldn't be truly furious, though ... even if he didn't realize it or mean to, he had showed me that I was slipping, falling back and becoming that person I didn't want to be - another dull conformist!

He probably wouldn't admit it, watching me, studying me, I guess ... which wasn't the worst thing in the world. I mean, he pays attention to me, but not in the annoying, fawning way of some of the idiots I've sent running over the years do. He's not an alien, or a time traveler, or an esper that I can tell - I have a hard time buying any of those things, from him, really.

Anyway, it's something. And it's _his_ predictable behavior, not mine, so I don't have any reason to doubt myself over it.

He may think he was figuring me out, but I've been spending just as much time figuring him out, too!

So he's some wonder-kid - big deal! He puts no effort into his assignments, but always turns up passing grades, and is always at the top of the class on tests. He doesn't show any interest in participating in sports, just chatting about baseball stats - but he'd be a star player, and if he weren't too lazy to sign up, he'd be picked up by the baseball club faster than he could say, 'Koushien.'

He's a waste of his own potential!

Still, this leads to the following conversation:

I probably shouldn't but, hell ... everyone else is even _less_ worthwhile to talk to, so when I find myself getting the second-best seat in the class (right in front of Kyon, of course), I turn around to face him when he greets me.

"So," he asks, "is it true you've tried out every club in the school?"

Like I need a reminder for that... "Not one of them was good," I sulk. "I tried them all, sure..." Then, since I _am_ frustrated, and he _is_ the one I talk to ... who, even if he doesn't realize it, gives me a reason to keep searching...

So, not expecting it to go anywhere, I vent and voice all of my frustrations about the lacking clubs in this school. He weathers my diatribe without batting an eyelash, and when I'm done, he looks out the windows.

Still ... at the end of it, he turns to face me and gives a surprisingly profound speech about how we should all be happy and complacent with what we have. Somehow, he himself doesn't catch the most important part of this speech: That there _are_ people who are special, unique, and different.

And these special, unique, different people - these _geniuses_ - weren't satisfied with the world, and strove to make it more interesting! Exactly like I was!

I mean, he's wrong, but he's _so_ wrong, he reminds me of why I have to keep searching.

And, even if he didn't realize it, he was right when pointed out that I would never just 'find' the club I was looking for. Obviously, if I want this to happen, I have to do it _myself_!

Even if the epiphany comes in the middle of class, and he seems utterly indifferent to me when I jump up in front of him and block his view of the chalkboard. So, in a way, that's the second time he's done me a favor by reminding me how little I'm working to stand out. What does he give me for my thoughtfulness when I'm ready to thank him?

He reminds me we're still in class.

Like I care!

Still... Annoying though he may be, he's way too useful to ignore.

So, because of that, he'll have to be my first member!

* * *

Author's notes: Thanks to Halbarad and the rest of the Soulriders for their extensive help pre-reading this one, and sorry for the necessary evil of 'yet another take on Melancholy from Haruhi's PoV'... Hopefully, it still worked. :)


	3. Chapter 2: Assembling the Forces

Sympathy

A 'Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' fanfiction

Chapter Two - Assembling the Forces

Disclaimer: The novel series of Suzumiya Haruhi that began with 'The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' is the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. No disrespect is intended by the posting of this fanfiction, as I do not own the characters or settings involved. I'm merely dabbling with another set of paints.

* * *

The very first instant that we had a chance - the second the chime sounded - I spun around and launched myself at Kyon.

For all of his placid demeanor, he did see me coming. That let him intercept my lunge towards his tie, catching my wrist. That was the first time I got to really experience how strong he was, and it was a little unsettling - surprising.

I mean, that's why I just froze for a few seconds, letting him hold my wrist still; that's totally justifiable. He's a guy! And bigger than me!

I may not be some dainty flower, but he's got more muscle mass no matter how you want to argue gender equality.

So, I twisted my hand free and grabbed his sleeve, since he wouldn't let me take his tie. I don't like the way he's smiling, half-amused, like this is-

It is _not_ flirting!

Anyway.

That's where we are now, and why I'm holding his sleeve.

I don't give him any warning, just breaking for the door at top speed, hauling him along with me.

On the bright side, he has no trouble keeping up, and he does ... well, I'll have to admit it here:

He lets me drag him off. No way I could do it, if he were to set himself against me.

There's an abandoned corner of the school, leading to the roof access, where a great stack of art supplies are stored. It's a quiet, out of the way place, and ideal to sneak off to when you need to discuss something in private.

Leading Kyon there, I stop him two steps from the top of the staircase and turn to face him (from the top). Coincidentally, yeah, this does let me look down at him a bit, but, anyway - things are going pretty good, so I give him a grin. Hell, I haven't felt this excited about anything in a long time!

We're going to do it - get somewhere! Find something! We'll be the ones to do it, even if he doesn't know how much he's going to be helping me!

"So, what's this about, then?" he asks, cocking his head slightly to one side, looking around. At least he's not acting like he's waiting for my confession, or something.

"We're going to make a club," I declare to him.

He gives me an amused look, raising one eyebrow. "What makes you think I'm going to be part of this?" he wonders.

"Do you have something better to do with your time?" I challenge.

"Mm. And what's this club going to be about?" he replies, not at all answering my own question.

Though... Okay, that's a good question. I haven't entirely figured it out yet, but I will.

"What we talked about earlier!" I bark at him, not letting my smile slip. "Look- I'm going to get a club room - you get the paperwork from the office to form a club, alright?"

I run past him and back down the stairs - I need to double-check with that quiet girl, but if she's all there is for the literature club, it should be _no_ problem to take over! I guess, even though I didn't answer his question, he shouldn't mind too much - I mean, he didn't chase after me, and he absolutely could have, if he wanted to.

So that means he doesn't mind, right?

* * *

When I get to the clubroom at lunchtime, that quiet girl is still there. Or is there again, I guess?

She's this tiny little slip of a girl, her eyes hidden behind her glasses when I step into the room. She raises her face, but the lenses of her spectacles turn into blinding mirrors for a moment when she moves. Only a moment - nice effect! - and then I can see her dull eyes.

I guess she looks pretty average, then. Small, glasses, short hair - and quiet.

"So, this is your clubroom?" I ask, even though I already know.

She gives a silent nod in answer.

"So, listen," I tell her, "I've got another member that I'm starting a club with. If you're the only member of the Literature Club, then it's no trouble if we use this space, right?"

She stares at me quietly.

Blinks.

Gives the world's most _incredibly_ tiny nod - if I weren't staring at her I would have missed it - and says, "No problem," in a voice barely louder than a breath.

...weird.

If she doesn't protest much, it'll be child's play to slowly lure her into joining our club, though - especially since we're in the same room. She's really, really uninspired.

She'll make a good matched set with Kyon - the queen and king of boring! Yeah, if I get to be too like the pair of them...

"Holding you to that!" I declare, grinning. I think about giving her a hearty pat on the shoulder, but she looks like she might break under the force, so settle for nodding at her brightly.

Slowly, everything is coming together.

* * *

That afternoon, I go for Kyon's tie even faster - but still not fast enough. He raises an arm to block, so I settle for his sleeve, and do a passable job of making it look like it was completely on purpose this time.

That guy...

For some reason, I catch a dirty look from Onoki on the way out the door.

Not that it's my problem... If you want something, you have to have the courage to _take_ it, so it's on her, right?

I hurriedly lead Kyon to the literature club room without any trouble, and then show it off, explaining that it's going to be ours. He mostly ignores me, looking around - like I did, actually - for something cool and interesting.

And yeah, it's a _really_ dull space - but think of the potential! We could get ... a computer, maybe a small fridge to keep drinks- A tea station! We absolutely could get that-

Gah! I'm almost shaking with excitement! We can make this place truly unique and fun - the ideal place to hang out between missions and expeditions!

But Kyon's ignoring everything I'm saying, looking at the girl curiously and finally asking, "Are you really okay with all of this, then?"

The smaller girl, for whatever reason, is staring at Kyon like her gaze was locked onto him with a bolt. "No problem," she breathes again.

"Eh," he starts, before hesitating, his brow furrowing slightly. His eyes go away from hers thoughtfully. "Um..."

She then quietly introduces herself in her soft voice, "Nagato Yuki."

"Alright," Kyon says, heaving a tiny sigh, but unable to keep the amusement from his expression. "If it's okay by you that she wants to turn this into an ... I-don't-even-know..."

"No problem," she repeats again, still looking at him. What's so interesting about the most boring guy in the school?

Maybe she's so shy that he's the first guy who's ever talked to her, or something? She'd better get used to it, then, because I'm not letting him slip away- out of our new club!

"Right," I say, before the conversation goes further, drawing Kyon's attention back to myself. "Come on, let's go home - tomorrow, we'll start gathering members properly!"

I have a good candidate in mind, at least. Another girl, which should help, since Yuki seemed so shy around Kyon.

That's fine, though.

* * *

The following day, after sending Kyon to the clubroom ahead of me, I run off to intercept the girl I stumbled across in my earlier searches.

Well, I guess I stumbled across a few, but she stuck out a bit - daydreaming on her own in some corner of the school with the most distant look ever, like she were listening to something I couldn't hear... So it was no trouble at all to snag her wrist when I find her in the hall, and drag her along behind me to the clubroom.

She doesn't even manage to breathe out more than the merest, confused hint of a protest before she has to jog to keep up - panting and barely keeping her footing.

She's cute!

Unreasonably cute!

When we get to the club room, Kyon has just stepped in, and I haul my newest member through the doorway after him before slamming and locking the door.

Instantly, the cute girl squeals, cowering and begging to know what's going on.

That'll attract _so_ much attention! This girl was wasting her time and potential by doing anything else - she'll be the perfect beacon to draw the strange and unusual to us!

"Look at her!" I gush, grabbing her shoulders and turning her around to show her off to Kyon and Yuki - who breaks off from staring at him to look us. "Go on, introduce yourself!"

"I...I'm Asahina Mikuru!" she squeaks out. "W...what's going on?"

Ah, this girl, this upperclassman... Well, I'm going to be her superior, so let's set that straight right now, since I won't be calling her 'sempai' - no chance, with that face! "Listen up," I tell her. "I'll call you Mikuru-chan from now on!"

"W...what?"

In the meantime ... this girl, with that expression and that body... "Look at these!" I protest, grabbing Mikuru-chan around the chest and squeezing her. "I'm almost jealous!" I guess it was too much to hope she was stuffing her bra, wasn't it? Didn't really seem like it, but I still wanted to check.

...well, maybe not just 'almost.' I wanted to find someone who was really cute, but it's aggravating, knowing how _much_ cuter than me she is! So unfair!

If I had a face like that, and a rack like the one I've got my hands-

Kyon yanks me away before I can explore much further, giving me an incredulous look. "You can't do that!" he protests.

I think I pretty obviously just did. What, is he feeling left out or something? I guess that's possible...

"You want to play with her too?" I ask. There's a light in his eyes for the briefest second before he tries to deny it. Like he didn't just watch me play with her for like, five minutes?

Well, I can't say that's too surprising. Who wouldn't want to play with Mikuru-chan? Though, come to think of it... That gives me a _great_ idea to attract attention for our forming club!

"Anyway," I say, when he finishes sputtering out a denial, "come here every day after class from now on, Mikuru-chan!"

"Suzumiya, you can't just kidnap people for your club!"

"It wasn't a kidnapping!" I didn't have to use any chloroform. A real kidnapper would have that, for sure - and probably a good escape vehicle, along with a cadre of guys to stand around and sneer in a superior manner without doing anything else useful.

Don't they always have those things?

"Asahina-san," Kyon says, ignoring me, "you don't have to listen to her."

Then, that cute upper classman gives Kyon to most _devastatingly_ sweet and hopeful look. "But ... you'll be here too?" she asks, glancing between the two of us - at him with happiness, and me with worry.

...I'm not sure why, but that annoys the hell out of me.

Still, if she doesn't care about what I do, but he makes her stick around, she can contribute meaningfully while she's here, right? A mascot costume is just the thing for that - unless I come up with something better while I'm waiting for something more amazing to show up.

* * *

As much as my idea to order something online for Mikuru-chan to wear - something cute and sexy - is a good one, I wasn't able to order it until the evening. And I get one for myself, too - it's too much fun to pass up on! The only problem is, 'one day delivery' takes longer if you order after a certain time in the day, evidently.

So much for expedited shipping!

It's not the first time things haven't lined up the way I wanted them to, but this one gets to me a bit more, for some reason. I mean, I can't expect a mysterious transfer student to show up just because I want it. And since I can't do anything on that front, I should focus on what I _can_ do!

If I could have ordered from the school - if we'd had a computer, like I was thinking - then it wouldn't been much of a problem. Instead, I have to wait two more days for them to get here!

I want to use Mikuru-chan's charms to draw in more interesting people. I'll need to be careful to avoid the wrong crowd paying too much attention, but I figure I can use Kyon as the barometer for that. When he gets too interested, it's too far, right?

Something about that...

It feels _right_ that I should keep him from getting too interested in her - or Yuki. I'm ... not sure why I think that, though. I guess it's because he's so boring and average, if I'm careless, he'll sink into the same boring relationships as everyone else?

Not that it would bother me! Onoki and ... whoever else...

Only, I guess it _would_ bother me, wouldn't it? When I make myself to try and look at it...

If I do things right, it'll be way too interesting for them to get distracted with thoughts of something like romance, right? So ... really ... I have to _keep_ things interesting. I mean, for all of us! Not just him.

And one of the big ways I can think of to do that involves getting a computer for the clubroom after all. But then, that won't work if I don't know that the latest and greatest is. So, a full day pretty much wasted doing research for that - really, going to the shopping district instead of straight home and copying down the model numbers and important stats on all of the best systems.

Well, the most expensive systems, anyway - which means they'd _better_ be the best systems!

At that price, I don't think I'm going to be able to sweet-talk anyone into giving them over... But, in the vein of using Mikuru-chan's charms...

In the back of my head is the thought that Kyon, really, shouldn't mind _that_ much. After school, when the club gets together and I tell him my plan, he doesn't raise any objections, at least. I don't like the look he gives me - like he's not sure if I'm serious.

Idiot.

It's not like he has any better ideas!

So, in the club room, once Mikuru-chan arrives, I hand Kyon the camera and grab her wrist before she can react.

What, am I surrounded by _ninja_ or something? She seems to see it coming, too - I see her tense for the barest fraction of an instant before she seems to realize what's happening. Then she abruptly drops her tension, just looking innocent and confused.

What the hell is that? I mean, it's great she acts like all moe-moe, but it kind of weirds me out if it's just an _act_... Then again, if it _is_ just an act, then that means she's actually on the same page as me - she thinks this is just as much fun as I do!

That'd be great!

* * *

I can't _believe_ how successful my plan was- Just like I hoped, Mikuru-chan played along perfectly! I only needed to pretend to give her the tiniest push before she sprawled over the computer club president and then fell down - pulling him on top of her. While it _looked_ like she was pushing him away, I could see that she was clearly holding his hand in place.

Kyon took pictures like I ordered, so he's on my side, too- With members this loyal, I'm _sure_ that tomorrow's plan is going to go even better!

I can't stop grinning until after we've gotten the thing installed, hooked up, and then connected to the network.

And that's just perfect- Exactly what I wanted for our club!

Tomorrow's plan should be even _more_ exciting and awesome- If he went along with getting a computer, I think Kyon sure won't complain. I _know_ I can count on Mikuru-chan to work with me on it!

* * *

The next day, I can barely restrain myself through class - though, Kyon poking me with the eraser-side of his mechanical pencil does get me to turn and glare at him before he raises an eyebrow and asks what I'm bouncing in my seat for.

Yeah, well... I don't want to tell him, though.

I mean, he'll get to see it as it is, and I have no doubt he'll love it. But I don't want to imagine him sitting behind me and drooling over the idea of me and Mikuru-chan in such outfits before it's time!

When class lets out, I race to my locker to get the bags I put our outfits in, then run back to the clubroom.

I get there just in time to see Kyon and Mikuru-chan chatting about something, though they cut off the second I come into sight. Maybe a bit too fast ... I kind of wonder what they were talking about, but I catch the way Mikuru-chan looks nervous when she sees me. Kyon seems to catch it, too, looking troubled, but more resolved.

That's something of an unusual look for a guy as lazy as him.

I ignore him and turn to Mikuru-chan, launching into my spiel about what the costumes are for and how we'll use them. He stares at me in dumb confusion, and Mikuru-chan watches with wide-eyed wonder. The extent of his questioning as far as I bother listening is why I didn't get one for Yuki.

Well... I didn't think of that - but no way am I going to admit that to him! I could say she's just not as charming, but that seems too mean - and I kind of like her quiet attitude, so I just say, "I couldn't afford another one," which actually is entirely true.

Putting that out of my mind and ignoring what he's saying, I grab the bottom edge of Mikuru-chan's blouse and yank it upwards sharply. The upperclassman's arms fly up as she struggles against me - for a second, Kyon looks like he's about to complain, but surprisingly enough, Mikuru-chan protests before he can say anything!

She begs him to stop looking - and that's all the encouragement _I_ need to keep going! I don't know why Kyon might have changed his outlook from yesterday, but it doesn't much matter. Just like I expected, Mikuru-chan stops putting on her moe-moe show the second Kyon's out of sight, though she does keep up the whining for Kyon to hear. It's actually kind of funny, so I can't help but play along - and wonder what he's doing in the hallway.

Probably blushing and unable to stop listening in.

The whining does get annoying, though, especially if she's not really honest about her protests. Then again, you'd _expect_ someone moe to fuss over this, wouldn't you? "Oh, hush!" I bark at her, going for her skirt.

She doesn't move a hand to stop me, her glance flicking to the door as she whimpers.

It's actually ... a little weird to undress someone else - though kind of fun. With Mikuru-chan helping me out (even with the whining), she's like a life-sized doll~! How awesome and fun is that? This is going to be great!

* * *

...except it's not great at all- Hell, it's not even _good_!

What the hell- Mikuru-chan's on my side, and Kyon didn't get in my way, but after all that setup, the only one who really got to enjoy our costumes was Kyon!

Stupid, stupid teachers! I know I've pushed the limits in things before, but having to deal with my parents freaking out about me 'destroying my chances at a better education'... I swear - if I were even the slightest bit luckier, that dumb homeroom teacher would focus on someone lazy, like _Kyon_, and not have come after me like that!

Of course, he gets all the luck of the best seat in class and somehow falls off the teachers' radars...

Thank goodness I didn't bring the costumes home; my mom was so furious, I think she might have cut them up!

Well... At least I only had to deal with a lecture.

So, _that_ sucked. I saw Kyon escorting Mikuru-chan to the clubroom while the teachers were dragging me to the office to call my parents, but didn't get a chance to talk to him until class that morning.

When I complain to him about things, he gives me a mildly unimpressed look and asks, "Did you honestly believe that you could do such things without your parents being called about it?"

That's the way it _should_ be! Why do my parents even need to know? It's not _that_ big a deal! "Stupid teachers," I grumble again, crossing my arms over my chest and shooting Okabe a death-glare as he departs at the end of homeroom.

"...you mean, you really thought they would just let you off with a warning?" he asks, sounding a little bit surprised.

I really believed they wouldn't care that much, actually. "It wasn't _that_ big a deal," I mutter, before shaking my head. Whatever! It was supposed to be fun, and Mikuru-chan agreed!

"The important thing is that we have a new transfer student, right?" I tell him. At least I picked up on _that_ rumor. "A mysterious transfer student, just like I was hoping for!"

Kyon leans back in his chair and gives me a thoughtful look, shaking his head slowly. "Boy or girl?" he wonders.

"Boy, I think," I answer. "But I haven't seen them yet - so it could be a good disguise." Hmm... Even if she's a little weird, I think Mikuru-chan's got the 'moe' covered. Probably, it would be better to have a guy.

"That means it's a boy," Kyon says flatly, boring as ever.

I'm tempted to ask him if he's willing to bet on that, but I don't have much money after buying those costumes. Well, why waste time speculating? I'll just go talk to the new student next break - and anyway, I have to recruit him or her anyway, so no need to take Kyon with me.

Especially since the new member might get the wrong idea if a guy and a girl were to show up together and insist they join the club.

And ... maybe a little, I think it'd be easier to get him to follow me without Kyon around... It probably really _is_ a boy. Anyway, once he joins the club and sees Mikuru-chan, it'll probably be good enough anyway, right?

As soon as the lunch chime sounds, I'm off like a shot, tearing towards the new student's room. When I get there, he's sitting at his desk, surrounded by a small crowd of boys and girls who are asking him about his hobbies.

It's class 1-2, so it's not as amazingly mysterious as if he were in the advance science-physics track - class 1-9 - but that's fine! His background can make up for that, can't it?

Physically he looks ... I'd say okay. I mean, he'd probably look like a regular pretty-boy if he were to iron his uniform, brush his hair, and practice his smile. That 'tousled' look isn't so bad, but he's not really doing himself any favors by leaving it so unkempt. Not a whole lot of guys can _really_ pull that look off and actually look _good_.

I mean, there's Kyon-

Anyway, I shoulder through the crowd and reach the new boy's side. "Come with me!" I order, seizing his wrist and hauling.

He stares at me, resisting me effortlessly for a heartbeat before he nods, shrugging at the other students with his free shoulder. "Guess I'm headed to another castle!" he quips to them, before letting me drag him off.

Damn it - why can't I _win_ any confrontation without my targets just _letting_ me?

A few minutes later we're at one of the spots on the grounds I know students sometimes sneak to smoke. I know a lot of little spots like this, though the best one by far is the stairwell - mostly because it's indoors, so no one will smoke there.

"So ... can I ask what this is all about?" he wonders quietly, admiring the trees around us.

"Mysterious transfer student!" I declare, beaming a grin at him. "You stand before the leader of the SOS Brigade! We're looking for someone unique and special - and it may just be you!"

He quirks one eyebrow higher.

"So, I am Suzumiya Haruhi, fearless leader - and I want to know more about you! Tell me your awesome stories and legendary heroics!" I demand.

"Well," he says after a moment. After a thoughtful blink, he shrugs and says, "Okay. Most recently, I was able to beat the 'hell' level of _Cave Story_ without cheating in just under five minutes - I haven't gotten to the three minute mark to unlock the alternate music yet, though. I'm not sure that qualifies as 'legendary,' considering that... Well, for me it was quite an undertaking! Something I could be proud of, hmm?"

I have to say I like the enthusiasm, but I wasn't asking about video games... Still - he's a transfer student, and seems mysterious enough so far. It's not like I could expect him to just open up about the conspiracy theories behind him after only a minute, is it?

"Alright - I'll bring you to our clubroom at the end of class!" I declare. Once he joins us, I'll have more time to find out what his secrets are! "Be there!"

I catch him raising his eyebrows curiously before I turn around and run away again. But, hey ... if I've got his interest, that's something to make up for yesterday, right?

* * *

That day after class, Koizumi is waiting for me as ordered - it's no trouble to haul him to the clubroom. When we arrive, Mikuru-chan cuts off something she was mumbling out at the sight of me and won't meet my eyes, just hunching over and edging closer to Kyon every time I look at her.

What's going on with that! She was totally on my side yesterday! And I got in more trouble than she did over that, so what's she got to be upset about?

That's not fair! Well - whatever; we've got someone new, now. Someone who brings our total members up to five!

"Listen up, everyone!" I cheer, pointing at the new boy. "This is Koizumi Itsuki-kun, our mysterious new transfer student!"

"Ah, right," Kyon sighs in a way that suggests an awful lot of familiarity with me. Okay, so he and I _did_ discuss that earlier without the others- But the club is still being formed! Heck, Koizumi-kun only just now got recruited! "I'm terribly sorry you've gotten caught up in her madness."

Hey!

"I would have just wasted my time otherwise," Koizumi-kun replies with a shrug and an easy grin, stepping past me to stand by the chair opposite Kyon. "Hmm, so, what's this club about?"

"Evidently Suzumiya plans on using us to - somehow - find aliens, espers, and time travelers," Kyon explains with a shake of his head.

Sound more enthusiastic!

Koizumi-kun looks inexplicably startled by that for a heartbeat before he reassumes his relaxed, somewhat amused expression, nodding. "I find those things all the time in my video games," he offers.

"Oh, yeah?" Kyon asks, shifting in his seat to face Koizumi-kun properly. "What do you like to play?"

"It's fine to talk about things like this when we're not on a mission," I decide, interjecting to remind them what our real goal is. "In fact, I'm glad to see you two getting along so well! Mikuru-chan, ah, Yuki," I almost stutter for a moment, debating giving her the respect of her last name- Somehow, that just seems too obvious right next to 'Mikuru-chan,' so I settle for her first name alone. "You two should try and get along, too!"

Come to think of it ... now that we've gotten a full compliment and can become official, we need some sort of establishing group activity for the weekend. That's a good idea; I'll work on that next. It should give Kyon and Koizumi-kun a chance to get to know one-another better. Plus, if Mikuru-chan's upset over us getting in trouble for yesterday, that should be a chance to hang out without worrying about things like that!

Hmm, I should probably try and get Koizumi-kun to step up for Mikuru-chan, though- Ah, a girl like that, really, she needs someone looking over her, and I don't want Kyon distracted all the time. If she's always acting all moe-moe, she'll probably get hit on a lot; someone to protect her from that would probably be great!

Something about that seems like a good idea, too, but I want to be very subtle about it. Hmm, maybe I could get the two of them in a group with me ... Kyon would be okay with Yuki, as quiet as she is. I bet it wouldn't be too hard to rig things - marked toothpicks or something like that, right?

Hey, I've got a computer now! While Kyon and Koizumi talk about some other game - something called 'Bastion,' which Kyon thinks has some great gimmick involving narration - I check the internet and look for tips on what I was thinking of.

This weekend- Yeah, now we can have the fun we should have had yesterday, with no annoying teachers to get in our way!


	4. Chapter 3: Close Encounters

Sympathy

A 'Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' fanfiction

Chapter Three - Close Encounters

Disclaimer: The novel series of Suzumiya Haruhi that began with 'The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' is the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. No disrespect is intended by the posting of this fanfiction, as I do not own the characters or settings involved. I'm merely dabbling with another set of paints.

* * *

After browsing the internet and studying some sleight-of-hand techniques for fun, I check the clock and declare our our first brief club meeting over. Now, I need to corner Yuki- Since she's officially still in the Literary Club, she's got the keys for the clubroom. That's not going to do in the future, since I went through that trouble to get us a computer.

Maybe I can bribe her for the key by letting her use it once in a while? It's not like I plan on limiting her access - I just need to make sure I can get in when I want, too.

I let the others troop out, ready to call her to the side, but she seems to be waiting for me. Well, maybe it was on her mind, too?

Once the other three are out of earshot, Koizumi going on about yet more games, and Mikuru asking the occasionally confused, hopeless question, I ask, "Yuki, is there more than one key for the clubroom?"

"There are three," she answers. "One for the club president, one for the vice president, and one held by the advisor."

Come to think of it, what teacher is the advisor for the Literary Club? I haven't gotten one yet for us - I'm not going to try to ask Okabe, since he's already given me trouble, either!

Time for that later.

"Well- In that case, I'd like the extra key, since you don't have a vice president!" I say. I should probably get one of my own, come to think of it. Mikuru seems a bit too ditzy, really; I'd go with Yuki, except she's kind of in another club already. I don't know Koizumi-kun well enough to say he'd be good at it, and Kyon...

Yuki stares at me with her unchanging expression, blinking once, then holds up the book she was reading- The title is _The Hyperion Cantos: Books One and Two_. Extending it the slightest distance toward me, she says, "Read it."

"Uh, okay," I agree, taking it and glancing at the cover. Looks like sci-fi- And it's one of those compendiums. There's two books in it: _Hyperion_ and _The Fall of Hyperion_. Well, I hope it's at least interesting. "But, the key?" I press, looking back up at her as I stuff the book in my bag.

Still without any change in expression, she reaches into her pocket and pulls out a key, handing it over.

Perfect! I take it without hesitation, adding it to my keyring - I don't plan on letting _this_ go for a while!

"Wait, you had both keys?" I ask. There's no way she'd give me her only key, is there?

She blinks once, then says, "I will retrieve the second key tomorrow morning."

Hmm. Or maybe there is. Does that mean she thinks I'm her vice president? I guess that's alright- For now, anyway.

Except - does that mean that she thinks she's giving me an assignment by handing me the book?

I'm not sure what to think of _that_- We get to the hall and I turn around to lock the door. When I turn back, Yuki's gone, though. I guess she can move faster than she looks like - a tiny girl like that doesn't weigh enough to make much noise when she walks, either.

* * *

Once I get home and go through my bag, I toss the book that Yuki gave me onto my desk. Homework first - can't do anything if bad grades are slowing me down. After taking care of that and going downstairs for dinner, I go back up to my room.

Only ... do I really want to read that book? Putting it off a day probably wouldn't hurt. It'll take me about a week and a half to get through something that size, between classes and everything else - but in the meantime I've got a project that should be more fun.

The 'bunny-girl' thing didn't work as well as I'd hoped, but Mikuru-chan is still fun to dress up. Something that's more moe and less focused on sex appeal should probably work fine, right?

I'd kind of half-heartedly played around with making most of it anyway, and I've got a pretty fair impression of Mikuru's sizes. Really, other than being a bit wider in a few places, we're not that far apart, so I spend the rest of the evening finishing up the maid costume I thought might be fun a while back with the sewing machine I got for my birthday a few years ago.

After that, I check all the seams and turn it inside out, looking for anything that's rough or just plain got a hole in it. A few touch-ups take care of those - I think this will do!

It's ... a bit loose around the chest for me - the hips are a bit loose, too. Then again, it's also roomier around my stomach than I need- Probably Mikuru-chan will look better in this. But that's alright; this should be fun anyway!

I yawn, looking at the clock - even if it was the finishing touches, it took longer than I thought it would. Yuki's book will need to wait until tomorrow.

* * *

The next day is pretty good, too. I get up early enough to dig out an old electric kettle from storage, and set it up in the club room during lunch. Nothing really interesting happens with Kyon, but that's hardly unusual.

After class lets out and we get to the clubroom, I pounce Mikuru-chan straight-off- I want to see her in the costume I worked so hard on!

I bet Kyon will love it, too-

Her little moe squeals that she doesn't need help are enough to send Kyon and Koizumi running before they even set their bags down. Which means more time for us all to be in the club!

By the time I've got her completely changed into the maid outfit, I'm pleased to see that I got the sizes just about right- Except for it maybe being a little looser across the stomach than I'd expected. That's fine, though; you can't really tell beneath the apron, anyway.

I let the boys back into the room. "Was today a costume party?" Koizumi jokes. "That's a rather good VIVIT cosplay!"

...who?

"Oh?" Kyon muses, raising his eyebrows, taking the excuse to keep eyeing Mikuru-chan's new costume. "I don't follow Seihou as much as Touhou, but you're right. I agree - that looks very nice on you, Asahina-san!"

And like Kyon threw a switch, Mikuru-chan suddenly brightens, completely dropping her fake 'I don't want to wear this!' attitude. "R...really?" she simpers shyly.

...whatever. That means I did a good job on the costume - enough to look like some character from a game I've never heard of - so I can't get too upset about it. Before Mikuru-chan can move away, I grab her from behind. "Wear this every day from now on!" I order, giving her a tight hug, nibbling on the edge of her ear, looking at Kyon out of the corner of my eyes.

"Eee!" Mikuru squeals cutely. I bet he'd like to play with Mikuru-chan like this - and I'm sure she'd love it, too - but I don't think he's got the guts to try if he passed up the last invite. She is _so_ adorable ... I guess I can't _really_ hold it against Kyon that he gets distracted by her. Well, maybe if I leave her alone, he will too. No good getting distracted all the time.

"Alright! Now as a proper maid, you should prepare tea for us," I add, releasing her and indicating the tea set.

Kyon looks at it curiously, then shrugs and takes his seat at the table. Koizumi sits opposite him and fishes a game out of his bag. I glance at the white and black tokens on the box - Reversi? I guess it's a good idea to have something to do in the clubroom when we're not on assignments.

Sure! Why not? That just means we're making this territory our own! Headquarters should be comfortable, shouldn't it?

Well - with Mikuru busy making tea, I sit back at the computer. I don't want to spend all day just looking up sleight of hand, so I move on to the next step of planning our weekend trip. I've been around town plenty, but with extra eyes, we're more likely to find something amazing!

There's not a lot to look at, though- Well, actually, what we should do is get a website. We have the computer, after all, right? It shouldn't be too hard to get the computer club to get that set up for us - it's pretty trivial compared to everything else, anyway.

Except, we'll need something to put _on_ it, won't we?

...well, as much as Kyon and Koizumi were admiring Mikuru-chan, why not take a few pictures? And why stop there? I bet a lot more than just the three of us would like to look at them!

She keeps making the most annoyingly cute noises and faces the entire time - I get Yuki into the act too, borrowing her glasses to see if Mikuru-chan's cuteness goes over the top. And it does! I guess it doesn't do much for Kyon, but she is ludicrously adorable! I didn't design the costume with 'sexy' in mind, but can open the top to bare a little bit of chest - not even that much cleavage, really.

The effect is more cute than anything else- and that's perfect! A few of the pictures I manage to snap while she's leaning forward - knockout poses for sure! That's just a bonus on top of everything else!

I bet she could stretch that 'sexy' look, but before I can really try and go further along that route - loosen the top of that costume a bit more - Kyon finally has enough and pulls me away from Mikuru forcefully.

I don't think he really minds, despite his stern look and muttering- But he's right that I'm totally letting myself get sidetracked.

I think I could probably take pictures of Mikuru-chan all day, really. Except, it's not helping me find something amazing ... or, well, maybe it actually is! In a way, a cute girl like Mikuru-chan, able to perfectly play up those moe-moe notes - that's not bad at all, for a start! A video-game otaku who can test well, and his mysterious foreign exchange student friend...

Oh, and Yuki.

Huh-

Well, Kyon tries to deliver some half-hearted speech about something, and Mikuru-chan sniffles along and nods agreement. Koizumi-kun tries to form an echo chamber and agree, but I've lost interest already. Dresssing Mikuru up and taking pictures is all well and good, but I've already _done_ that. There's no reason to do it again.

Unless I come up with another costume later, or something.

Thinking of that, when Kyon and Koizumi leave to let Mikuru-chan change back into her uniform, I give Yuki her glasses back. Her prescription must be super-weak - the lenses look almost like clear glass to me, and losing her glasses didn't seem to slow down her reading at all. "Thanks!" I tell her, since she's been pretty helpful so far.

"Did you read it?" she asks in a very quiet voice.

At the same time she asks that, Mikuru-chan stops whimpering. Huh?

When I look over, the upperclassman doesn't look even slightly abashed about having no top on - just a cutesy flower-patterned bra and her uniform skirt. She's staring at Yuki with something like ... cautious interest, I guess. Where'd the cute act go?

When she realizes I'm looking at her, Mikuru-chan just gives me a slow smile and shakes her head, redressing with silent efficiency.

...strange. Not sure what's going on there.

Weirds me out a bit, though, so I don't say anything until she's gone. "Er, not yet," I allow. "It's a bit long - it'll take me a few-"

"Read it," Yuki returns, before I finish, taking the glasses from my hands as she rises and leaving without a backward glance.

Is that girl's face carved from stone, or something? I swear it never changes! If it's such a big deal, then fine!

* * *

Since it's such a big deal to Yuki, and I can't really figure out anything else about Mikuru-chan for the time being, I grab that door-stopper she handed me when I get into my room. It's that or sort through Mikuru-chan's pictures, but I need to get the website up before that's a big deal. A few of them are a bit sexier - but something about the calculating way she looked at Yuki still weirds me out a bit.

I flip through the pages and sip at the glass of milk I brought to my room with me, frowning when I pass something between the pages. After setting the glass down and paging back I find it- Hey, a bookmark!

That's kind of thoughtful, I guess? I pull out the light purple marker and look at it- Blank. It might as well be a strip of construction paper. The other side, though, has a message from Yuki on it!

Crap- I barely have time to get there! Kouyouen station? She could have just _asked_ me!

I don't have time to explain things to my parents beyond yelling a quick, "School related!" over my shoulder as I storm out of the door and run as fast as I can.

I wish I still had a bicycle, but the last one I had didn't fare too well through my last experiment, and my father didn't really seem impressed when I regaled him with the tale of its heroic sacrifice in the name of science. Next time - if there is a next time - I'll say it was stolen. The problem being that now he says it's my responsibility to save up enough money, and-

Anyway, running is good for your health! When you're young and you've got energy, that's the thing to do!

A little worn out, I reach the bench about two minutes after seven - when the note said to meet. "Hey!" I bark crossly, before pacing back and forth in front of the bench, letting my muscles cool down. "What's the big idea, calling me out like this, anyway? You could have just asked me, you know?"

Yuki's expression doesn't change at all. She just gets up from where she was patiently sitting, her head slightly bowed. Her eyes don't move to meet mine. "This way," she answers quietly, turning down the path and marching off.

...that's not answering my questions! Well - I still need to cool down, so I pace along beside her. "And?" I push.

She says nothing at all, not even really looking at me. We're not far from what I think is her goal, so before I have a chance to get really annoyed about it, we're walking through the lobby of a pretty posh, upscale apartment building. I can bite my tongue here, because who knows who's listening in?

After that we step into the elevator - straight to the top! Yuki's family must be really well off - but when she lets me into her apartment, I'm kind of taken aback. Why doesn't she have furniture? There's a kotatsu, but the girl doesn't even have as much as a bookshelf, otherwise?

Where are her family?

"Sit," she says, pointing at the kotatsu while she heads into the kitchen.

Yeah, I'm not a trained dog, so I ignore that and walk over to the huge window overlooking the city. The view from here is pretty impressive. It's gotten dark, so I watch the city lights until Yuki returns a few minutes later with tea.

When she actually sits down, I join her. "Well?" I demand, throwing back the first cup of tea, and watching her silently refill the cup. I swear, her movement's so economical, she might as well be a robot.

This time I don't touch it - I want answers more than a drink. Her tea's alright, at least - better than Mikuru-chan's.

"Drink," she says.

"Did that," I return, scowling a little. "You called me out here - so what is it that we can't talk about at school, or that you couldn't just give me your phone number for?"

She pauses for that, her expression not changing, still. After blinking, her gaze focused on my teacup, she says it's about Kyon.

Wait, Kyon? The same guy I labeled 'Boring-kun'? Yeah - she uses his real name, but let's be serious- "_Him_?" I ask. "What _about_ him?"

"And me," she adds. If I were drinking that tea, this would have resulted in a spit-take.

"Oh for the love of- What, you want to ask him _out_?" I snap, scowling. "You sent a note to the wrong person, then! Why should _I_ care?" I can't believe she pulled me here for this! I thought it was going to be something important! Not this big waste of time!

She blinks at that, and for a bit, looks like she's having trouble finding the right words. She's not blushing, so I don't know what the hell it is - she doesn't at all actually look _shy_ about it; her expression's as unchanging as ever. I guess it's like she can't figure out what the right words to say whatever are.

"He and I are not ordinary," she finally says.

Yeah, I don't think I agree. He's about as ordinary as they come, academic oddities aside. She's probably just trying to convince herself she's got some common ground with him or whatever. "Uh-huh," I say, turning to look out the window and sipping at the tea again.

Might as well - I _did_ run all the way to the park.

"We are not ordinary human beings like you," she clarifies.

"Yeah, I kinda got that," I grumble. "He's a savant and you're autistic. And?"

When I glance back, she blinks several times. "I cannot completely convey this in words," she says in her almost un-modulating voice. "Some data may be lost."

"You can say _that_ again."

"I cannot completely-"

"Didn't mean it literally," I snap, cutting her off. Does she think that's funny, or something? This is so annoying...

After another pause, her expression looking a bit lost, "The Integrated Data Sentience Entity, which oversees this galaxy, has created human-contact-purposed interfaces - like me. Our purpose is to communicate with biological entities."

...whoa. That's a hell of a topic shift. "Say what?"

"My task is to observe him and upload that data to the Integrated Data Sentience-"

"Hold up! You're telling me you're some kind of _alien_ here to watch _Kyon_?" I mean, the 'alien' part would be pretty hard to buy on its own, but - seriously, to watch _him_?

"Correct."

"Are you kidding me?"

"No."

I roll my eyes at that. "Okay, give me some proof, then," I demand. "I'm looking for aliens, espers- Any trace of the supernatural or paranormal! That's what our club is about! So show me something that can let me know you're not just screwing around with me!"

After a moment of thought, she answers, "Listen."

So, I do- She goes on about how the aliens she's with are data, not physical. She says she's three years old- Basically, she's got a pretty good story - it's a great excuse that doesn't leave room for physical evidence.

Well, isn't _that_ convenient.

Evidently, somehow, _Kyon_ created this big interesting data thing that got the aliens to care. Believe me, if this were plausible for a heartbeat, I'd be overjoyed! Instead, when she's done with her long-winded and incredibly awkward explanation, my immediate answer is:

"That's not proof."

She just blinks and stares at me, her hand stopping halfway to her own cup of tea. Mine's half empty and cold, so I push it away. Her hand returns to her side as though she were playing her earlier motion backward.

"So," I say, rolling my eyes, "pretending I believed this, if you're not going to give me any proof, then why did you bother _telling_ me?"

"He has the potential to influence the environment around him with thoughts alone, regardless of intent. For reasons that we cannot yet determine, he has chosen you. My goal was to uncover some hint of his reason for choosing you."

"Wait, wait, wait," I say, shaking my head quickly, climbing to my feet and pacing back and forth. Damn! This is seriously getting on my nerves! "He 'chose' me? What the hell does that even _mean_?"

"We do not yet understand fully. You possess significant importance to him. We will observe both of you until we can make a determination."

"Sure- But why tell _me_ and not _him_?"

"The effects of him being aware of his ability cannot be determined. The Integrated Data Sentience Entity believes that if he is informed or discovers his abilities, a crisis of unknown magnitude may occur. For the present, they have elected to continue observation."

"Great- So I'll tell him," I warn, scowling. "Then what?"

"The probability of him believing you is negligible," she returns, her expression smoothing from the tiny bits of stress that I could see there earlier. Hell, until she relaxed right then, I wouldn't even have noticed it.

So ... would Kyon believe this if I told him? I doubt it - because I don't believe it, either. So why _would_ he? Still- That's an insulting thing to say!

"Right," I say after a moment. Oh, I wish she were telling the truth, not just being bitchy about this entire thing- So, she's pissed off about me taking over her room, or something? Well, if this is her answer, whatever.

As angry as I am about the entire thing - I still have the clubroom. I still get to claim her as a member of _my_ club, not the Literary Club.

"I'll give you your book back tomorrow," I add, heading to the door- Seriously, at this point, screw trying to be nice to her. After _that_?

_Whatever_!

I slam the door to her place on my way out, getting the last, slightly disappointed look on her face before it vanishes. Well, I guess she can show hints of emotion after all - but maybe she should have thought about that _earlier_!

I don't run, just stalking angrily back to my house. I can't figure out what Yuki really meant- The only thing I can come up with is that it's some prank. I'll give Kyon points over her - he can be kind of boring, but at least he doesn't pull crap like that!

I'm not in the best mood when I get back home. You wouldn't be either! It doesn't help that my mother's waiting for me, still wearing her business clothes.

And that means _she_ already cooked, so dinner's not going to be very good.

"Oh, Haruhi," she says with a sigh, shaking her head. "'Dating' again?"

That's not- Well, if she's going to be like that, _fine_. "I gave it a shot, but she wasn't my type," I growl, brushing past her and stomping up to my room.

"Haruhi!" she yells in surprise, before I slam that door, too.

I'll just skip dinner tonight - my head hurts after all that stupidity. I throw myself onto the bed, almost smacking my face on the book I left on my pillow.

Bah- Yuki can have that piece of trash back tomorrow! What do I care about it _now_? I bet _that's_ where she got those stupid ideas, anyway! Since my mom knows better than to come after me when I'm in a mood, I get left alone, just burying my face in my pillow until I finally drift off.

* * *

When I get into class the next day and sink into my seat, it takes a minute for Kyon to say anything. When he does talk, he actually manages to surprise me.

"Hey, Suzumiya... Are you alright?" he asks.

And I bite back anything I might say about him being boring and normal- Because at least he's not a jerk!

"Slept really badly last night," I admit. I almost go on - tell him about Yuki's prank. But the whole thing... That guy? Able to change reality with his thoughts? "Some stupid stuff distracted me. Waste of an entire evening."

"That's too bad... Did you finish your homework, at least?" he asks.

What a question! Yesterday I- There was-

_Crap_. I think I might start getting really pissed off about Yuki, now!

Before I can really start fuming, Kyon shakes his head a little, then slides his homework over, across his desk. "Math after homeroom," he says, as though I'd forget.

I want to shoot him a glower, but when I look at him, I don't actually have his full attention. He seems to be lost in some thought of his own. With grades like his, you have to wonder what he's thinking of; his face doesn't seem _that_ different from when he was griping about Mikuru-chan yesterday.

Ugh, not what I wanted, but I'll take it. I scowl a little, but nod and snatch the paperwork away. This gets me a glare from Onoki before she looks sharply away and sniffs.

Hey - don't get the wrong idea, here!

"Excellent work, subordinate," I mutter, loud enough that Onoki should be able to hear.

"You're welcome," he says, sounding amused.

Yeah, okay - he actually _is_ kind of a jerk!

But ... at least he's on my side. "...thanks," I grumble beneath my breath. Yanagimoto snickers at me, not bothering to conceal her smirk. From her desk next to Kyon, Sakanaka gives me a wince, followed by an encouraging smile.

I'm too tired to tell them they've got the wrong idea, and anyway, Okabe comes in next, followed by Asakura Ryouko calling the class to attention, ordering us to rise and bow to our teacher.

* * *

I don't know if Kyon would have helped me out if I hadn't recruited him for our club. If any part of what Yuki said was true, that 'choosing' bit kind of resonates. I guess I'd be lying to myself if I tried to pretend he didn't have some kind of interest in me.

He hasn't ruined it by asking me out or anything like that- I guess if he were letting other people copy off his homework before he probably doesn't think it's a big deal.

I need a change of scene, so as soon as lunch starts, I run off to the cafeteria like always. I could let a few assignments slide, so it's not like I _needed_ Kyon's help. Even if I say that, the last thing I need is my parents getting on my case about missed assignments, so it's actually really good for me that I had that backup option.

While I'm elbowing my way through the line to get my lunch - something a billion times tastier than my mom's cooking - I can't help but think about what Yuki said again.

Not the garbage about being an alien - that's just stupid. But the part about Kyon having powers that let him reshape the world around him. At least, if I understood what she was talking about. I can't help but wonder ... what if that were true? And ... if those powers were real, sorts of adventures and fun could we have with them?

Probably it's pointless to dream about things like that, but it makes for a good distraction.

Thinking about it - doesn't everyone at some time in their life have the thought that they might be the only 'real' people, and everyone else is watching them, studying them? They could be ... robots, or aliens, or, or...

It sounds a bit like solipsism when put that way - except, Yuki's applying it to _Kyon_ instead of herself. It's not like I didn't have my own share of thoughts like that after that baseball game- How could I be the only one who recognized the enormity of the situation? How could I be the only one who realized how many people there were, and how insignificant everyone else was in comparison to that vast number?

One real person, and a world full of simulations. Isn't that basically what Yuki's saying Kyon is? Well - that he's _more_ real.

In order to believe that, though, I'd need to see other people who thought he was worth paying attention to!

I suppose I can't _really_ disprove it - but that hardly means it's true. After all, when you use Occam's Razor, what's the simplest explanation? Until evidence says otherwise, it's that she's lying.

Augh! That's enough of that- I need to focus on this weekend, and finding proof of something _genuinely_ amazing!


	5. Chapter 4: Millennium

Sympathy

A 'Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' fanfiction

Chapter Four - Millennium

Disclaimer: The novel series of Suzumiya Haruhi that began with 'The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' is the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. No disrespect is intended by the posting of this fanfiction, as I do not own the characters or settings involved. I'm merely dabbling with another set of paints.

* * *

Nothing really exciting happens in club the next few days. That's fine, since we're gearing up for something this weekend. Koizumi-kun brings in some board games and card-games- He tries to bring in some handheld gaming systems too, but he and Kyon are annoying enough about talking about video games all the time anyway, so I ban those before it can take off. Neither of them mind too much about that - which is how I think it should be.

Anyway, what's the point of a game that only Kyon and Koizumi-kun play? Even Mikuru-chan and Yuki join in on the board games once in a while. I might join in once in a while too, if I weren't still annoyed with Yuki.

But she mostly keeps to herself and doesn't try to pull any other pranks.

I practice my sleight of hand with the toothpicks as much as I can, but I really need other people to try it out _with_, and that's hard to pull off without giving everything away... I still think I have it down pretty well, though.

Better, everyone shows up when I expect them to- Well, mostly.

Yuki is waiting for _me_ when I show up at the train station - Mikuru-chan doesn't take much longer. Kyon manages to show up three minutes late, and I give him a sharp glare, but it's Koizumi-kun who's the last to arrive.

"Penalty!" I declare, pointing between them. Kyon looks at me, frowning, and I relent, "Kyon, you can slide just this once." He raises his eyebrows at that, but he did help me out with my homework. Not that I'm about to say that in front of the others! Anyway - this makes us square; I'm forgiving insubordination, here! "Koizumi-kun, you were even later- That means you have to pay for our meals!"

"Okay," he says with an easy grin, shrugging. "I can do that."

Well - that seems fine to me, then. Kyon gives Koizumi-kun a curious look, but the boy with the mussed hair just says, "I did sleep in- Up too late last night playing 'Devil Survivor.'"

"Oh, which ending are you going after?"

Seems everyone's satisfied with that, then!

* * *

This is not the first time that I've planned and plotted for something to work out a specific way and then had it not turn out that way. It's been a while since I've let something trouble me this bad, but I thought I had my sleight of hand down.

I try after we finish enjoying breakfast on Koizumi-kun's dime. He doesn't seem to mind covering the expense, though I get a look from Kyon when I criticize him

It goes wrong from the beginning- Kyon gets a marked toothpick instead of an unmarked one. Koizumi-kun draws the next marked toothpick, and then Mikuru-chan draws an unmarked toothpick. That's not ideal, but being in a group with Koizumi-kun and Kyon is alright. It lets me keep them from being distracted by talking about video games.

That's my _thought_, until Yuki plucks the third marked toothpick. Alright - I must have gotten some toothpicks switched, somehow. I'll try again after lunch. Speaking of which:

"This isn't an otaku convention of any kind," I warn the other three sternly. "I expect you to put real effort into this! The three of you better keep one-another on track for the investigation- And pay attention; whoever's last has to cover our lunch, as well!"

I can't help but think it's going to be Kyon somehow. That's fine, though; I'm sure if I ding him with a single penalty he'll shape up and stop ending up in a position where he can get them. Otherwise, well, if he can't put his heart into it entirely, it's not like I haven't already invested enough of my own time and money into the club! Those costumes weren't cheap, after all.

Mikuru-chan and I are in a group, and we leave the cafe, heading along the riverbank as we begin our search. I've checked the river out enough; I still think alien spacecraft could hide at the bottom, but it's harder and harder to imagine them pulling it off without anyone noticing.

Mostly, I really want to see what the others find. I hope it's something, at least!

With just myself, and Mikuru-chan following behind me, I start thinking about what Yuki mentioned. Should I have a vice commander for the Brigade? Yuki would have been a thought, but after her prank, she's out of the running. Koizumi-kun...

If he hadn't been the latest one for our meeting, I'd have given him more consideration. If he's that bad about punctuality, I can't think he'd be the best option, though. Well- If it's neither of those two, I should consider Mikuru-chan.

But, I don't know ... she's such a cute mascot, wouldn't it all go to waste if I had her take the role of second-in-command? Probably, I should feel her out a little more.

When I glance over, she's dropped her moe act again, looking distracted by the trees, admiring the scenery like she's never had a chance to see plants at close range before. "So, Mikuru-chan," I say slowly, thinking about that weird habit she has of just dropping her act. "Who do you think would make a good second-in-command for the Brigade?"

She makes a disinterested, "Eh?" sound before turning to look at me. She looks momentarily taken aback, then shrugs. "I don't think you'll find someone better than Kyon-kun, really," she remarks. "But Koizumi-kun wouldn't be too bad, I suppose..."

I frown, considering Koizumi-kun again. Still- "Why's Yuki off the list?"

"Oh, Nagato-san," Mikuru-chan says slowly, looking bothered - irritated more than anything else. "Well, I don't think she's demonstrated that she's the most reliable."

I think about that quietly for a minute. I don't know what triggers the switch between Mikuru-chan acting all moe or all indifferent... She's awfully frank, though. "How does Yuki look unreliable?"

"Um, I guess..." Mikuru-chan trails off and looks thoughtful, then shrugs. "How has she shown herself to be reliable?"

...that actually sounds almost like antagonism, from Mikuru-chan! What reason does she have to not like Yuki? Well- Actually, if she pulled anything off like she did with me...

"I guess you're right on that count," I sigh, shaking my head. "Arg! I'm still annoyed with her!"

And then I find myself spending most of our 'mystery search' time grousing about Yuki's stupid little prank. Bah! I wanted to tell...

...anyway, I finish up, grumbling, "Such a dumb prank!" after I relate the entire thing to Mikuru-chan. "So- Unreliable is right! I guess I was just asking to see what you thought, but I don't want to make her vice commander either, you know?"

Mikuru-chan looks mostly nonplussed about the entire thing. Almost completely unsurprised. "She told you that?" she finally asks, turning to look away, across the glittering surface of the river. "I didn't think anyone from her faction would bother..."

Yeah- Wait- "What?" I ask aloud, surprised. "Her 'faction,' you say?"

Mikuru-chan looks at me - and there's no trace of her moe-moe act anymore. She looks older, somehow pitying of me. "Well- If you didn't believe her, then you're not likely to believe me, either. Most of it's classified, but if she's told you that much...

"Myself, I'm a visitor from the future- You could probably most easily call me a time traveler. As it happens, around the same time Nagato-san's people say there was a 'spike of data,' there was an event that confused the time streams, and prevents traveling back further in time.

"This is something we believe is tied to Kyon-kun-"

"Wait, wait," I protest, shaking my head. "Why- What-" It's just too much to process. What, more of the same stupid prank? "Okay, okay- First of all, prove that you're a time traveler to me! Don't just say it, give me some solid evidence!"

"Why do you think I need to prove anything to you?" she returns, shaking her head. "Calm down and think for a minute; I'm not telling you any of this because I need you to believe me."

As much as I want to throw a thousand questions at her, I bite my tongue.

When she seems satisfied with my silence, she nods, giving me a glance and then looking out across the river. "There's so much I simply can't tell you because it's classified... I couldn't even _try_ to- But all the same, you're caught in the middle of something you can't understand."

"What do you mean?" I manage to keep myself from snapping over this one for the time being. What's the goal of this dumb prank, anyway?

"Let's be clear," Mikuru-chan replies, looking tired, giving me that same annoyingly superior look. "None of us are in your club because it's fun - except maybe for Kyon-kun. Did you _really_ think that members like this would just come together for you?"

"It didn't- I had to search for my members!" I counter, scowling. "Like you, who I hunted down!"

"And all it took was standing in the right place and looking lost in a daydream," she returns, sighing. "Just when you were hoping to find someone... Let's see- Someone who looked 'cute' and 'harmless' - someone non-threatening to you that still held appeal? Someone that even you thought that Kyon-kun would smile at?"

...that... That may be _somewhat_ true- But, no, I worked for that!

"And before that, when you wanted a clubroom, someone else just happened to have one, and raises no complaint when you take it over," she continues, sounding annoyed with the idea already, examining her nails with a particularly intent scowl. "Then you need a fifth person to fill up your club, and someone shows up who happens to cater to the interest of the most important person in your club, hmm?"

That shuts me up pretty good.

I'm not sure if it's this whole new face that Mikuru is showing, or what she's saying-

I never said Kyon was important in my club! I mean ... he is... He's - not that I want to tell him - responsible for inspiring me to make it! He's a constant reminder of everything I-

That's not important right now, though! "So, what do you want with him, then?" I ask. "If- If that's true! If I could believe this- So, he's important. What are you trying to _do_?"

"Let me just say this much," Mikuru returns, giving me a smile that looks strangely sympathetic. "If you're not careful, you make my assignment ... _very_ easy." She gives me a doe-eyed look at that, sniffling, slipping _right_ back into her moe-mode, and for the first time ever, I think I have a negative reaction to cuteness.

Putting up an act to be cuter is one thing. Covering up something not-at-all-cute...

I just don't know how to react to that! Another... Another prank, right?

Except- Except, ignoring the time traveler and alien nonsense, both of these girls have a strange way of acting around Kyon for his benefit. And one way or another, he _is_ at the center of both their stories.

What the _hell_? What is _really_ going on, here?

...I don't find anything worth reporting to the others by the time our search window ends, though.

* * *

I haven't figured out what to make of Mikuru's little reveal by the time we get to where we were meeting up for lunch. It takes almost ten minutes for Kyon's group to show up, but before I can even lay into them, Koizumi-kun volunteers himself for the penalty.

"I got caught up window-shopping!" he admits, grinning and giving a guilty shrug, hefting a bag from some electronic supply store. "If I weren't buying the latest Golden Sun game, we would have been on time. I suppose the penalty must be mine!"

...how can I adequately judge Kyon if you're always getting penalties like that, Koizumi-kun?

I sigh and shake my head. Whatever ... if I get the toothpicks to go my way after we finish eating, I can put that all behind me. Certainly, Koizumi-kun seems to have some money if he's not upset about getting all these penalties _and_ he bought a game. Maybe even despite his tardiness he wouldn't be the worst vice commander?

Thinking about that distracts me. Or else, I must be doing something wrong- Kyon and Koizumi-kun are in a group again.

Ugh.

When I end up stuck with Yuki, I can't complain - better her than Mikuru!

...not my ideal group, I admit. I'm actually at a loss on this one; I can hardly chide Mikuru to keep the other two focused, and Koizumi-kun's too tardy to be the best example. So, it's actually _Kyon_ I talk to when sending the other group off. "Be sure to keep those two from getting distracted," I order him.

He seems surprised to be directly addressed, but both Koizumi-kun and Mikuru flash him big smiles, as though awaiting his orders. He shrugs in response, and then motions the others to follow as he sets out on the last leg of today's planned investigation. The weirdest part is that ... Kyon is probably the best bet for vice commander of the lot so far.

Mikuru and Yuki are out on account of their stupid prank. Koizumi-kun's just not reliable enough ... so what other choices do I have?

Better just be quiet about the entire thing, I guess - not bother mentioning he's the vice commander until I've had him taking care of the vice commander's duties for a while.

Still! I'm trying to puzzle out what the heck the real story behind this 'data creation' and 'temporal anomaly' business is. When Yuki's pace sputters to a crawl and she falls behind to stare at the sign of the library we're walking past, I walk on a good dozen yards before realizing I lost her.

I swing back and give her a sharp look. She gives me a totally bland stare in response.

"What?" I finally snap.

After a moment searching for the right word, her entire response is, "Unfamiliar."

"What, you've never been to a library before?" I return, a little incredulous. No _way_ can a girl read like her and not know about the _library_!

But- She shakes her head in response. It's the kind of head shake you'd need to be staring at her to catch.

"That's kind of amazing," I return, somewhat acidly. "We're on a mission today; you'll have to figure it out some other time."

Her head bows the slightest distance. Weirdly, I recall her expression when I stormed out of her apartment a few days ago. I bite my tongue as I lead her further away from the library, and we continue our search.

I could take some pity on the girl, show her what a library is and how it works- But she owes me an apology or an explanation for that prank, first. Until I get that, why should I go out of my way to be nicer to her?

* * *

We all gather for the final meeting of the day. I've got nothing to show for all my searching. Unless I count Mikuru's whole revelation, which I'm _still_ trying to figure out. The others have nothing, either, and under Kyon's leadership, his group got back on time, making Yuki the last arrival. Kyon gives me an astounded expression at that, complaining, "She wasn't even late!"

"She was still the last to arrive," I counter. "If people were punished for being _late_ instead of _last_, then you would be in trouble from this morning!"

"It is fine," Yuki cuts in, when Kyon looks about to protest further.

What, Kyon doesn't mind a guy paying for the girls, but a girl paying for the guys bothers him? Anyway- We go back to the cafe and order our dinners. Despite Kyon looking like he's about to protest, he doesn't stop her.

But ignoring all of that, for an entire day of searching, we've found nothing at all interesting.

Unless I count Mikuru's story. I'm not happy with the way things turned out, so as we're leaving, I warn everyone, "We're going to review this again tomorrow! We didn't find a single thing?" Sure, I was distracted, but what's Kyon's excuse? How do he and Koizumi-kun do in groups, anyway?

Bah- We'll find out tomorrow!

* * *

Class goes pretty slowly after the weekend. Without anything better to do than mull over the search, I try and think back to Mikuru and Yuki's stories.

Kyon as some kind of super-important guy. That was the main thing they agreed on, anyway. How could someone so boring _really_ be so important?

I guess part of me wouldn't mind if it were _true_. Mostly, I just think that it's so hard to believe because ... well... Because it's Kyon!

I don't really want to pick on Yuki because I already took her room. Mikuru, though, doesn't have a very good excuse at all. Given that, and how her moe act is just an act, I decide to dig a bit.

Evading Sakanaka and Yanagimoto, I quickly track Mikuru down to an empty classroom- The same one I found her in the first time, actually. She's got the same dreamy, distracted expression on her face, too.

"Alright," I bark at her, slamming my cafeteria tray on an empty desk next to hers.

She startles a little, then gives me a curious look.

"Tell me more about time travel," I order her.

"Oh," she answers after a moment, smoothing her skirt and giving me a puzzled look. "That's all classified. There's nothing I can _really_ tell you. You have to realize - generally, the only information I can give you is information that doesn't change anything. You can't think I'd be allowed to risk altering the timeline, do you?"

At least she and Yuki seem to have thought out their excuses for not being able to show proof.

"Tell me about Yuki," I stay instead. It's a long shot, but if I can get her to give me holes in Yuki's story - or the other way around - at least I can _disprove_ it and set things to rest.

"I really can't tell you anything you don't already know," Mikuru answers smoothly, now looking slightly amused at my expression. "Even if I wanted to, as soon as I tried to say anything, I'd just end up saying, 'classified information.'"

"Well, I didn't know you were claiming to be a time traveler," I counter. "You told me that just fine!"

"Because that wouldn't change anything," she agrees, shrugging, the gesture seeming somehow rough from her. "And now maybe you're ready to believe - or would just pass things on to someone else. So, now I can't tell you anything else!"

...I'm beginning to really hate this stupid game. I liked her moe-moe act just fine when it wasn't so _creepy_. I'd have been happier if she really _was_ that way instead of just _pretending_. Now it's starting to piss me off!

* * *

By the time club rolls around, I'm still ticked off at Mikuru. Hey, it's not like it's unprovoked! Of course, I got so caught up in it that I totally forgot my plans, until Kyon asks me, "So, today is review for yesterday, is it?"

I don't want to be unreliable or inconsistent. I especially don't like letting a bad precedent slide! But I'm not in a good mindset to search the city today. I guess I could try doing it alone, but that'd take longer. While I wouldn't mind getting away from Mikuru for a bit and thinking about things, I also don't like the idea of doing that - it feels too much like letting her win.

"I decided to let it pass since it was our first review," I grumble. Or, no, wait- I have a better idea! "We'll just do the same one again next week, and keep our eyes sharper!"

"Is that so?" Kyon muses, looking at me curiously, giving me an annoyingly indulgent smile.

Ugh. "Mikuru-chan, you look great in that outfit," I tell our mascot, which gets her to give me a tiny, vapid smile of her own from where she's huddling near the tea set. I'm not really into her act, but if it's just an act, I think there's no problem with working on sexier, more interesting pictures for the website.

Come to think of it- "You've got to amp up the moe a bit, though; if you're carrying the tea perfectly and never spilling it, you're not dojiko enough! There's still some parts of your act that you could pick up!"

"Huh?" she noises in confusion, just as Kyon snags his drink from the tray, looking at me dubiously.

"Mm, yeah," I continue, nodding. A little bit, yeah, I'm picking on Mikuru. But this is nothing considering to the game her and Yuki are trying to have at my expense! "You need to spill the tea at least two out of every five times! You must practice getting really good at it, until you can make the cup flip over and over - and then land upside-down on Kyon's head!"

She stares at me blankly, so I swipe the serving tray from her and then snatch the teacup as soon as Kyon sets it down.

"H...how do you mean?" she asks in that innocent, oblivious way she's cultivated.

I top off Kyon's teacup to show her, then hold up the tray on the palm of one hand and set Kyon's cup on it. I turn around to demonstrate, but Kyon's already standing behind there, plucking the cup off the tray before I can even start.

"Hey!" I can't help but snap, shooting him a scowl. Where's his sense of fun?

He returns a level look, raising his eyebrows. "I don't _want_ hot tea dumped on my head, Suzumiya," he returns. "If you're so eager for Asahina-san to learn something dumb like that, let her practice on you."

"At least then you'd be active in _doing_ something involving the club," I grumble, looking away. How can he call it _dumb_? Does he not realize it's an _act_? Maybe he's just unhappy because he thinks that it's at his expense? One tiny little cup of spilled tea?

That's nothing, considering what Mikuru and Yuki put _me_ through!

"More pictures for the website," I decide, nodding. Yeah- If we're not amping up that moe act, we might as well do something productive for the club! I'll get some pictures of Mikuru in her bunny-girl costume, and then once she's done playing up her reluctant act, I'll wear mine, too! I think pictures of us should be fine! The pictures of both of us together will be the final act of that little slide-show - I think those will bring in _tons_ of hits!

Yuki would probably be who I should hand the camera to, but maybe I'll let Kyon do it, instead? I can just say for the website that Mikuru took all the pictures of me. Guys love the idea of girls doing stuff like that, right? Come for the moe, stay for the sexy - and then get suckered into finding out how awesome the Brigade really is!

Yeah! That sounds like a good plan-

Of course, it doesn't even _get_ that far, because as soon as I go to start taking Mikuru's costume off, Kyon doesn't just complain, he actually grabs my hand and drags me away! I shoot him a glare and try to pull away a little bit. He's still stronger than me, though, so as much as it sucks, there's _nothing_ I can do about it!

So unfair... I can't help but be angry at that- That he's choosing _now_ to totally buy into Mikuru's moe-moe act? Of course, you _would_ side with her, wouldn't you, Kyon? I thought you were on _my_ side! And now you throw it all away for a helpless act and a pretty face?

I don't even realize what's going on until he shoots me a dark look, like he's not really sure what to say, then just grumbles, "You need to respect Asahina-san more." After that, he crosses his arms and looks dissatisfied, letting go of my wrist and not meeting my eyes.

Hey- Respect is a two way street, and her act this weekend was _not_ a good start with me! As irritated as I am about things, I stop trying to go after Mikuru's costume and tell Kyon, "You buy into her act too much- Or you're just putting up an _act_ of looking out for her, yourself!"

He falls silent and looks away at that-

Yeah, that's his weak point, alright. That Mikuru plays up the moe, and he was too slow to properly play 'hero' for her earlier? When I look over, his attention is on the floor, and weirdly enough, instead of looking offended, Mikuru looks more ... I dunno ... sad for me than anything else? Why would she pity me?

That's the part I can't make sense of at all, but that's not important at the moment. "It's a bit late to try and play the 'white knight' card now!" I snap, glaring at him. "But if you two are both so phony, at least you're a matched set that way!"

He looks about ready to snap something back, but instead of saying anything, he just gives a small shake of his head and leaves the room.

The second he's out of sight, Koizumi-kun sighs, checking his cell-phone and excusing himself with an absent-sounding mumble. He doesn't even wait for me to acknowledge his departure!

As if there weren't enough people telling me that Kyon was the real center of my club- With him gone, Mikuru's act is dried up, and she just shakes her head sadly at me - like _I_ screwed up by calling Kyon out? Yuki watches me quietly, Koizumi-kun obviously couldn't have cared less since he's already gone...

I don't bother with orders - Mikuru can change herself, and Yuki doesn't need my help to lock up.

The day's a waste anyway, but maybe if I leave early enough I can review at least half of the weekend assignment and salvage some of the review. The fact that I can avoid my mom a little longer is really just a bonus.

It's not until it's late, when it's almost dark that I realize ... I just spent the rest of my time outside of club retracing Kyon's footsteps anyway.

He really _is_ at the middle of everything. If I believe just that one small part of what Yuki and Mikuru were saying...


	6. Chapter 5: Phenomenon

Sympathy

A 'Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' fanfiction

Chapter Five - Phenomenon

Disclaimer: The novel series of Suzumiya Haruhi that began with 'The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' is the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. No disrespect is intended by the posting of this fanfiction, as I do not own the characters or settings involved. I'm merely dabbling with another set of paints.

* * *

Unless I'm being chased down by Yanagimoto and Sakanaka, I can still run off between classes, or for lunch, and not be bothered. Kyon was quiet in class today, probably still upset by how we left off yesterday. I can't say I'm at all happy about it, either - but the important part stuck with me.

Koizumi seemed to care a lot more about Kyon than his own club president, and I don't think a common bond of playing the same video games quite explains things. Skipping the cafeteria, I run to his classroom and drag Koizumi aside, just like I did the first day I met him.

He lets me haul him out of class, and once we're alone in the same bushes, I cut to the chase, not letting him say anything before I begin: "You've got something to tell me- Something involving Kyon. Am I right?"

He purses his lips and gives me a much more thoughtful look than his typical disarming, somewhat goofy smile. It's a strange shift, but less jarring than when Mikuru drops her moe-moe mask. "A question for a question - you've heard something involving him from someone else?"

I frown, not entirely liking the fact that he doesn't just spit it out or confess. I nod cautiously, though - this feels better than my talk with Yuki or Mikuru!

"So- Say what you know, before I say anything in return," I challenge. "And if you're going to feed me another stupid story that I won't buy without proof, save your breath!"

"Proof?" he returns, raising his eyebrows. "Well- Wait a moment, then." Then he turns to his phone as though I weren't there, and punches some buttons quickly. I try to read the text he's typing up, but he angles the screen so I can't read it before hitting 'send' and pocketing the device.

"So... You _can_ prove things?" I can't help but ask hopefully.

"With permission, perhaps," he allows. "I will find out and inform you after our club duties end. It seems only fair that you should get a chance to see it, considering how rarely it appears these days. However, I must ask you to say nothing of this to Kyon-kun beforehand."

"...what?" I have to ask, not following this at all. Still, he says there's proof involved! For proof, I'll put up with this! Hell, even if it's a sham, at least I'll be able to point at whatever he's calling 'proof' and laugh. And all I need to do is not talk to Kyon about it?

So for that reason, I can't be that put off when Kyon's voice is a little more sour than usual, and he grumbles, "You seem excited today."

I almost tell him why, but catch myself. "That's because I'm working hard for our club," I reply, which silences him, even if it doesn't actually seem to reassure him. I can't believe he's still buying into Mikuru's act...

* * *

After a relatively boring day of club - Kyon was too distracted to play board games with Koizumi-kun, just mumbling and doing his homework - I accost Koizumi-kun on the way out the door. "Oh, I wanted to talk to you about your tardiness for our assignment this weekend," I say, as he and Kyon are out the door.

Kyon pauses, and something seems to go through his expression when he glances back at us. He quickly seems to dismiss it, shaking his head and walking away. Mikuru goes to the costume rack and takes her uniform down, then gives Koizumi-kun an expectant look.

Well - _I'm_ not going to tell him to accommodate her, not as annoying as she is to me.

Yuki closes her book in her seat and watches us curiously.

Sighing, Koizumi-kun gives a small shake of his head and tells me, "I'll pick you up for a demonstration at your place in about forty minutes." He glances at Yuki and Mikuru, then shrugs. "Be ready," he adds, giving me the impression that the notice was more for _their_ benefit than _mine_.

Yuki's expression doesn't change, and Mikuru looks uninterested, though.

I'm not sure what to make of that. That they're not all on the same page? I'm not sure... If Mikuru's supposed to be a time traveler, and Yuki's supposed to be an alien ... then what about Koizumi-kun? Maybe a youkai? Or a cyborg?

I can't come up with any especially good guesses before getting home. My mom isn't there yet, so I have plenty of time to switch out to casual clothing. A skirt with pockets, and a purse with everything I think I could need in it. Most important is my phone, which has a GPS, and a camera, in case there's anything worthwhile to see.

Koizumi comes by not long after I finish changing. It's maybe a _little_ strange, now that I think about it, that he already knows where I live. That doesn't really prove he's something paranormal; anyone who put enough effort into it could find their way to a student directory. I do pause for a second to think about what we must look like to the house across the street, though.

Probably, we look like highschool students on a date. And even _more_ likely, that nosy old woman who lives there will tell my mom about it.

He arrived in a cab, at least, so that's better than running to the train station. "Well?" I prompt Koizumi, glancing at the older gentleman who's driving, once the doors are shut and we start rolling into motion.

He starts off by explaining that something happened to him - and a small number of other people - across the world around three years ago. The same time as the 'data spike' and 'temporal anomaly.' He also explains Kyon's ability in _slightly_ more detail. The part that catches me the most is where he says he thought at one point he might be going crazy; I've got to have a little sympathy for that, because I've felt similar things recently!

He's easier to talk to about it, but to cut a very, very long conversation into a more reasonable-length one, his stance is basically a rehash of the same bizarre Kyon-centric solipsism as the others. This is the longest car ride I've ever been on, and if the material were any less interesting, I'd have fallen asleep! He's a bit clearer about it, and also throws in his 'type.' Evidently Koizumi's an _esper_, able to sense Kyon's unrest.

As an added bonus, he's _also_ a member of a shadowy secret organization, that's devoted to keeping Kyon calm! I pay attention when he says that, because it's the most interesting part of what's otherwise a very dull car ride.

"Kyon-kun has a relatively stable disposition," Koizumi-kun explains. "He was more ... energetic and enthusiastic in earlier years - around the middle of his last year of middle school, he calmed down greatly, thanks to a particularly influential classmate."

That sounds so cliche...

Koizumi-kun doesn't respond to my expression, continuing, "While it's very rare that Kyon-kun truly becomes troubled, we take note when it happens.

"Effectively, the stress between his subconscious will and his conscious understanding of a situation occasionally conflict. It's rare - but you can imagine, I'm sure - the difference between rationally knowing a thing, and feeling that it should be otherwise simultaneously."

"Well, yeah," I agree. I don't see anything remotely like this being _proof_, but as an idea, I can agree with it. "You're saying that Kyon's super power is almost always dormant?"

"Almost," he agrees. "On those occasions that Kyon-kun is pushed far enough ... those in my organization who were gifted with powers by him join together." The cab stops abruptly, and I realize that I have no clue where we are. Koizumi steps out of the car without hesitation, and I crawl after him, popping out the same door before he can shut it.

He shrugs slightly, then reaches out to me. "Take my hand?" he suggests.

I grab it, warning him, "This _doesn't_ mean we're dating - and if that's all this is a ploy for..." I let the threat dangle at that.

He chuckles dryly and says, "You may find it more comfortable if you close your eyes."

Yeah - like the _rest_ of this wasn't suspicious enough? I keep my eyes peeled - on _him - as he leads me across the crosswalk. Like I pushed into a pool of water, I feel something strange envelop the hand that Koizumi's holding; it sweeps across me and then hits my face - and my eyes suddenly fill with a kaleidoscope of strange shapes, most of them in shades of electric, glowing blue-white.

* * *

When I can make sense of things again, I'm laying on my back on the street, Koizumi-kun's hand free of mine as he crouches above me and looks down warily. "I warned you," he reproves mildly, standing up and surveying his surroundings.

I'm on my feet like a shot after that, though when I stumble, he catches my arm, making a 'tsk'ing noise.

"Where the hell are we?" I can't help but shout. The sky above us is gray, the building's around us are gray, the sky overhead- hell, except for us and our clothes, _everything_ is gray!

"This is the closed space that's generated as a side-effect of his restless unease," Koizumi-kun explains, shaking his head slightly. "As I just explained. Here, this way."

I ignore him and immediately try the first thing I can think of - walking back out. The edge of the space is like some gelatinous barrier that pushes back, but is too firm for me to get through. It doesn't matter that I'm stuck here, though. Actually, I'd be more worried if I managed to go back and never found this place again!

What _matters_ is that I _found_ it, and it's _real_!

I turn back to Koizumi-kun, and can't stop from grinning. "You're an _esper_," I declare, re-evaluating things.

"That's right," he agrees, his appearance going from 'mildly annoyed' to 'amused.'

"And this means- This means that Yuki's really an alien, not some crazy prankster?"

"We believe that to be the case."

"And Mikuru's a time-traveler? Not some- She- She's _really_ a time traveler?"

"As we understand things, yes."

"Okay!" I exclaim, turning around and fixing him with a sharp look, locking gazes.

He raises an eyebrow and looks at me curiously.

"Go out with me," I demand.

He snorts, rolling his eyes. "No," he returns instantly, pulling his hand back.

Hey! I'm about to press further when we're _both_ distracted by a distant, muffled explosion. I turn to look, and...

How distracted was I to miss something _that_ obvious? There's a massive semi-transparent glowing blue figure, easily twenty stories tall! It's just standing to one side, probably a kilometer away, slowly straightening up from studying the building it had just smashed.

He shakes his head at my indignation and says, "I'm hardly done with my proof, for one. I'm afraid my colleagues need me, so ... please enjoy your view of this rare event!"

He takes another step back and is wreathed in an aura of red flame- In a flash it's become a red orb, with him vanished inside of it. He streaks skyward, and is joined by a group of others. I watch in surprise as they engage the giant, which only belatedly reacts to defend itself.

This is the most epic and surreal fight scene I've ever seen! It blows away any _movie_, that's for sure! I'd cheer for Koizumi-kun, but I can't even tell which one he _is_! The spheres - looking like red dots at such a distance - cut the giant apart, piece by piece. The severed pieces fall toward the ground and dissolve into slime or some liquid- It splashes down out of my sight, but it was _amazing_!

I can't speak for the others, because they weren't willing to give me proof. But that doesn't matter anymore, because Koizumi-kun did! This is the start of something amazing - with him at my side, there's no _end_ to the amazing adventures we could have! Checking out these closed spaces, using his powers to solve mysteries...

Plus, how many other people have been able to be this close to an esper - and known it? That thought in mind, I grab Koizumi-kun's nearest hand and hold it tightly.

One of the red spheres zips to my side, the light fading to reveal Koizumi-kun, looking no worse for wear. On the small chance that he forgot, I welcome him back with, "Go out with me!"

"No," he returns again, looking amused. "That's not going to happen. You understand that my goal is stabilizing Kyon-kun, don't you? Beyond that- The others have as much as spelled it out to you, based on your complaints. If Kyon-kun has _chosen_ you, wouldn't I be foolish to get in the way of that? We're working toward his greater _stability_, not a desire to unbalance him.

"As things stand, he's content, and because of that, seldom employs his powers. I don't like to think of the world should he come to believe it's a dismal, unhappy place."

To punctuate that remark, and perfectly capturing my feelings for the moment it happens, the sky overhead shatters into a billion fragments of light, all of them noisily thundering down like some form of psychic snow. I watch in stupefied silence until they're all gone, realizing only at the end that I've forgotten to take a picture with the camera I stuffed into my purse.

_Damn_. We're back in the real world!

"I believe my reasons have been clear enough," he adds. "To say nothing of the fact that outside of Kyon-kun, we don't exactly have common interests. You're interested only because I have powers, not because of who I am. Really, you hardly even know me - especially compared to how well you should know Kyon-kun, by this point."

The ride back home is silent.

Getting home isn't any problem in itself, outside of dealing with my mother. "Takahashi-san from across the street called me today. I should say that I'm glad to see you're back to dating boys again," she says, sounding less than fully convinced.

...this is just what I _don't_ need right now.

"I gave it a shot," I grumble, which is the same thing I realize I said about Yuki. Well- She wouldn't believe me if I were to tell her the full truth, so I offer a cut-down, but still honest, explanation: "I really tried, but he's more interested in a boy we both go to school with."

"W-what? Oh, Haruhi..."

She trails off as I storm into my room. Really, the sad part is, that's the first time in a long time that my mother's actually looked sympathetic to my dating situation.

* * *

I hear that some girls skip dinner because they're worried about their figures. I think that's stupid - though I can't judge them for skipping dinner entirely. I miss my own, just holing up in my room and shutting out the outside world.

So. Koizumi-kun is an esper. And shot me down.

I can't really say that he's wrong when he claims I was more interested in him as an esper than anything else. He's right that I don't really know him. He's just not that interesting a guy- I wanted amazing and cool, not to meet some slacker with powers he uses only when he has to.

I guess I mostly wanted to keep him from running away, not _really_ to 'date' him. Then again, isn't the key to that Kyon, not Koizumi-kun?

Absolutely, he's at the middle of everything. Yuki for 'data,' Mikuru for 'the timestream,' and now Koizumi-kun for ... I'm not sure. The stability of the world?

If I wanted amazing and cool, wouldn't Kyon be it? Except ... Kyon doesn't know he's got amazing powers. Hell, even though I can believe Koizumi-kun's an esper, and the others are an alien and a time traveler, I have yet to see any proof of Kyon's ability. Koizumi-kun _claimed_ that Kyon had made the closed space, but how do I know that?

I don't know. There's no point to thinking of Kyon as someone with amazing powers if he doesn't know about them. I could try telling him. Still, at this point aliens, time travelers, and espers have all decided not to.

Why not? Mikuru made it sound like they weren't very good friends - it'd be something for them to disagree and yet all cooperate to keep Kyon in the dark.

Okay. What do they want with Kyon, then?

For Koizumi-kun, it's simple. Keep Kyon calm enough that he doesn't destroy the world.

For Mikuru... I don't like where this goes. Perfect moe-moe act? Actually coldly calculating? And then she says I make her job easy? Obviously ... she's trying to manipulate Kyon, for some reason.

Well- Putting those two together, Kyon really _was_ upset. Mikuru's act got to him so badly that...

I mean. If I _do_ believe that Kyon is somehow the one responsible for that strange space that Koizumi-kun showed me, then... It's hard to accept that the awesome thing that Koizumi-kun showed me may have been _my_ fault.

That thought keeps me up very, very late.

* * *

"Bad dreams again?" Kyon asks the next morning, seemingly calmed once more. He's relaxed, but slightly wary, instead of yesterday's grumbling uncomfortable avoidance of meeting my gaze.

"Hardly slept at all," I mumble, grimacing. At least this time, I did my homework, so I don't need to worry about _that_.

He nods at that, and we both stare out the window in silence. Distantly, some third year girl and boy are taking down the tennis netting. As we watch, he says or does something he shouldn't - she shoves him and turns, running away, leaving him to handle the netting himself.

Kyon sighs softly, resting one elbow on his desk, and his chin on the palm of that arm.

He doesn't start any other conversation, and actually takes a nap through English, so for the first time in a very long time, there's nothing to talk about in the morning until lunch.

I'd forgotten how quiet it really got.

* * *

Okay- He got the better of me last time. I could run Koizumi-kun down for a rematch, but I realize at this point all I'd really get is more of the same nonsense. Instead, when the lunch bell rings, I go for Kyon's tie again.

He's still faster than me - but he still follows me when I try and lead him away. He looks confused as we come to a stop in the same corridor where I announced the plan to form a club, not that long ago. "Kyon, I need to tell you something important," I warn him.

"I'm listening," he returns solemnly, the traces of a smile on his face vanishing. "What's this about?"

"Our club has been ... almost too successful at finding what we want," I tell him slowly, staring into his eyes. "So- You may find this hard to believe, but, Nagato Yuki is an alien!"

"...really?" he answers, giving me a strange look.

"Asahina Mikuru is a time traveler!" I add quickly, scowling when I recognize his skepticism. "It's true- And Koizumi Itsuki is an esper!"

"And you're the magical girl that brings them all together?" he asks, rolling his eyes. "Really, Suzumiya..."

"H...hey," I protest, scowling.

"I was hoping this was about you deciding to apologize to Asahina-san."

Apologize! But- "She's a time traveler from the future! She only acts like that to trick you!" I complain. "You can't still be falling for that act, can you?"

He purses his lips and looks away.

And ... I've been running around and demanding proof the entire time. I don't have any of my _own_ to offer up, either. Probably this is the kind of situation that I should have had more of a plan to deal with. Something more than 'get it to stop being so quiet,' anyway. If I'd just remembered to take those damn pictures!

I guess if what Koizumi-kun claims is true, I could just piss Kyon off enough to make another one of those spaces. That idea makes my stomach turn, though - and not just because there's no guarantee that Koizumi-kun would agree to take me along again. More importantly, while it might have seemed like a good plan at one point, all I can think of is how much that would make me like Mikuru - and that's _not_ a pleasant thought at all!

I have to figure out some longer-term plan to reveal the truth to Kyon. I think I'll leave Koizumi-kun alone for now, since he was the least rude and annoying about things. Yuki... Yuki, I'm honestly not sure what to make of. I have no idea if there's anything about her that would qualify as 'proof' or not that I could uncover without her realizing, and she'd ... well, she'd already told me Kyon wouldn't believe me, hadn't she?

It circles back to Mikuru again, doesn't it? She's tricky, and I can't use the straightforward approach. I'll have to figure out a more subtle way to pull this off - get her to reveal that she's coldly manipulative, and not the adorable moe-moe figure Kyon _thinks_ she is! And - no matter what - I can't afford to let her paint me as the 'bad guy' again!

"...yeah, don't worry- I won't go after Mikuru like that again," I mumble, when the silence gets uncomfortable.

This is the saddest thing ever- It's not that I want Kyon to be around as much as ... of all the people he hangs out with, I'm the only one who even tries to be honest with him. If somehow, our positions were reversed, I'd hope he at least tried as much as I did right there. I'm not happy with things as they are, but until I can figure out some way to make him believe me - that _doesn't_ play into their hands - what can I do?

"I don't know about that last part, but ... is that a promise?" he finally asks.

"I swear," I agree, grimacing. There's no way in _hell_ I want to help her play up that farce! It was really cute - right until it turned against _me_. "I don't _ever_ want to have things turn out like that again!" But I _will_ find a way to show you what she really is!

"You look especially determined," he allows. "Alright ... well, in that case, I should apologize for my own roughness."

I blink at that, a bit surprised, then he smiles nervously and shifts his gaze to one side.

"So ... even if you were out of line, I'm sorry for that, Suzumiya."

...that's really not what I expected to hear. Still ... I suppose there _is_ something great about how we can speak more honestly than anyone else in the Brigade. "I'll let that go, then," I agree, nodding. Maybe it's just a little bit, but I manage to smile back at him.

* * *

Figuring out that we're all stuck until I can explain things to Kyon, that session of our club is the most boring session yet. Koizumi and Kyon play reversi. Mikuru's got her maid uniform on, but I don't want anything to do with that anymore. Yuki's by herself in the corner, reading her book and never looking up.

It's the kind of situation that's just _begging_ for a client to come in and give us a case- Not that we put out many flyers, really. Or that _something_ would break the tension...

I don't want to be the one who breaks that silence; I think the way things are now is pretty lousy, and don't want to make it worse. Kyon didn't believe me, but I'm probably on better terms with him than the others.

Somehow, that seems like it's the only good thing to come out of this. I'm not sure what that whole 'chosen' bit the others threw out means entirely... I mean, I don't think Koizumi-kun is completely right when he suggested that Kyon might want to date me. If _that_ were the case, he could have asked me out at any time.

What I _do_ know is ... one way or another, I'm closer to Kyon than they are. That's probably the fact that keeps me from exploding, just practicing spinning a pen across my hand and surfing the web. Even Mikuru isn't _that_ close ... though if I'm not careful, her act could change that a lot.

Figuring out how to move against Mikuru when Kyon still buys into that is the tricky part. I do remember what he said, and there's no great reason to leave things as they are. Even if Kyon's not that upset with me, knowing what kind of person Mikuru is... Yeah, there's no _way_ that I'm going to let her manipulate him if I can help it!

"Ah, Mikuru-chan," I say, not as smoothly as I hoped.

She looks up from where she was observing Kyon's game with Koizumi, looking surprised and anxious. Kyon, Koizumi-kun, and Yuki naturally watch as well.

It takes me a moment to figure out the words that I want to use while still being technically honest, but I finally say, "I'm ... sorry about yesterday. I don't want something like that to happen again! I promise you, Mikuru-chan, I will work very hard to make sure it doesn't!"

I don't think I'd bother normally- Apologies aren't usually my thing; I prefer to not screw up in the first place. But in some ways, this is my own act to counter Mikuru's. Well, as close as I'm willing to get to it, anyway. Fight fire with fire, as they say. So ... not the full ninety degrees, but I give her a bow anyway.

It's almost silent in the clubroom, until Mikuru manages to uncertainly reply, "U...um... It's ... okay..."

When I rise, I get the satisfaction of seeing her look confounded - maybe _genuinely_ so, not just pretending! Well, I can hope, anyway.

She seems to realize her expression is off, and quickly gives a bright smile. "Ah- T...thanks, Suzumiya-san, then, I'm happy for that!"

Kyon nods very slightly to himself, giving me a smile of his own. Well, that dims things for me a bit; he doesn't understand what's really even going on. At least ... not _yet_. "That's great!" I tell Mikuru. Shaking my head, I glance across the others and add, "Alright, I'm heading home early; I've been having to rush to finish my homework lately, so need to catch up on that. You can stay or leave as you like- See you tomorrow!"

My homework hasn't been that big a problem, and I think Kyon picks up on that too- But he nods to himself as I step through the door anyway. Maybe he thinks it was really hard for me to apologize, or something? He shouldn't ... I mean, I apologized to _him_, right?

Still... My real reason to use that time is to try and come up with a solid plan to solve this whole mess- Some way to prove to Kyon who the others are - and then himself!


	7. Chapter 6: Cool Blue Reason

Sympathy

A 'Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' fanfiction

Chapter Six - Cool Blue Reason

Disclaimer: The novel series of Suzumiya Haruhi that began with 'The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' is the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. No disrespect is intended by the posting of this fanfiction, as I do not own the characters or settings involved. I'm merely dabbling with another set of paints.

* * *

For all of my planning, I hit the immediate and frustrating wall of having no real options yet. I can make nice with Kyon, and keep Mikuru from playing things up _too_ much, but that's really just biding time. Not that I can think of anything else - what I really need is more information.

Something to act on, anyway. Well ... as lucky as it was to find the things I have so far, it's not like I can expect it to just be _handed_ to me, is it?

When I trudge into the entry room at school, I find a note in my shoe locker:

After school has let out, meet me in the 1-5 classroom!

...huh. It looks like a girl's handwriting. More than that, I couldn't say - there's no signature, or tell-tale stickers. I put it in my pocket and head to class, thinking. Who could it be from, then? And what's it about?

I suppose it might be from Mikuru. Not cutesy enough for her act, but maybe this is how she really is? I'm not sure what she'd want, but I'll need to be careful to keep it from turning against me. I guess she didn't like me apologizing and backing off, huh? Well, not like I want to work to make her 'job' easier!

I must look pretty distracted by thinking about things. When I get into our classroom and sit down, Kyon wonders, "Still not sleeping well?"

"It's mild May sickness," I reply, sighing. "This is all getting so boring."

He seems about to reply, but pauses, looking out the window with a frown, obviously thinking about things himself. It takes me a moment, but I think I can guess what's going through his head. I'm bored, and the club is starting to get boring - but he doesn't know how to tell me to change that without me giving Mikuru a hard time.

I think I'm seriously starting to dislike that time traveler!

"So today, your assignment is to make a website for the Brigade," I decide. "I mentioned that I wanted one, right? That's why we have the computer, even!"

"I don't know the first thing about that," he protests. "Make a website? Where do I even _start_?"

I roll my eyes. "With those grades and your natural aptitude, I expect it'll take you almost ten minutes," I reply. "Seriously- If you're _really_ worried about it, ask the computer club guys for some help."

He grumbles a bit, but nods. "Alright," he allows. "I'll take my lunch to the clubroom and get started on it early."

"Good!" I'm happier to hear that, and even though he's trying to look annoyed, I'm pretty sure he's actually not that upset himself.

* * *

I check in on the clubroom at lunch, just to see if Kyon's doing what I've told him to do. I bring my cafeteria lunch; by the time I'm through the lines and at the clubroom, he's already halfway through the bento he has sitting to one side of the mouse-pad.

He looks up and nods at me wordlessly, focused on his work. I set my lunch of a large wrapped pork bun at the table and move to look over his shoulder. From what I can see, he's going between some piece of editing software, and a basic website tutorial. At the very least, what he's got isn't complete enough for me to really judge - and it's the code, not the page itself.

Still, he's working on it, so I nod in approval, but before I can speak, I realize that Yuki - silent as ever - is at the table opposite from the seat I'd chosen, her own empty bento to one side, book in hand. Today's title is in English, so it takes me a minute to puzzle out, but 'Anathem' isn't a word I recognize.

"Any good?" I prompt.

She looks up from her book and blinks a few times before saying, very softly, "Unique."

Kyon taps at the keys, providing some background noise. After unwrapping my bun and having a few bites, I wonder... What exactly does an alien get out of reading, anyway? Is she learning about our culture?

As I understand it, most of what we have in books would be information she and that whole 'Integrated Data Sentience Entity' probably already have. After thinking about it, I realize I'm staring at her - though, she's gone back to reading.

"What do you like about it?" I ask.

"The concept of altering reality with information," she answers without looking up.

Hmm, I guess that would fit, wouldn't it? After I finish eating, though, I get up and crumble up the wrapper the bun came in, tossing it into the corner. I overshoot the waste bin, but it bounces off the wall and goes in- Good enough!

Kyon looks up from the monitor dubiously, and I tell him, "Keep up the good work!" After that, it's a bit too dull to just hang out, so I start scouring the school again. Mostly, I'm distracted by that note, though...

* * *

After we finish classes we go to the clubroom. Today, when Koizumi and Kyon step outside to let Mikuru change, I follow them. I don't ... really think the manipulative time traveler would start making sounds that gave Kyon the wrong idea, but I don't see any real reason to give her the chance!

When both of the boys look at me in surprise, I turn to Kyon and start pestering him for website details. "You're done with your assignment right?" I prompt.

"Y...yeah, mostly," he says, shaking his head. "We don't really have much content, though."

"Well ... I wanted pictures, but pictures of just me probably won't do it, so we'll have to wait until we find some amazing things!" Kyon looks reassured by this, even as Koizumi-kun looks slightly wary. Well, why not press that point a little? "Yeah! We need to take pictures of aliens, time travelers, and espers when we find them!"

"That's a nice thought," Koizumi-kun says, before Kyon can speak. "Kyon-kun, what do you think about that? Finding those supernatural beings in the real world?"

"Hmm... I'd really like to think they're out there to meet," Kyon says in reply, looking down the hall. It takes me a moment to realize; it's my eyes he's avoiding meeting, not Koizumi-kun's.

Before I can try and really think what that means, Mikuru opens the door to the clubroom, dressed in her maid uniform as always. Kyon's eyes go to her, and that pretty much dispels the forming mood for _me_.

Now that I know to look for it, I see a small hint of irritation in Koizumi-kun's face, too. At least I'm not the only one who isn't taken in by her!

After that, we troop in and I sit Kyon down at the computer, so he can show me the website. Mikuru serves tea while he boots the system up and opens the site. "This is local," he explains, showing me the front page. Kind of modest ... it really just has the name of our club on the front. At the bottom, he's put a hit counter, and that's ... kind of it.

"That's the entire site?" I ask.

"There wasn't much to work with," he says, shaking his head. "Anyway- Across the top I put these links, see?"

"Yeah, I see them," I say, rolling my eyes- Actually, I had missed them before.

"So, since we didn't have much content, I made a separate page here-" He clicks a link titled 'mission statement,' which takes us to a new page.

I'm a bit surprised; he basically transcribed the fliers that Mikuru-chan and I passed out. Now it reads a bit better - since he changed it for a website instead of a paper that we would hand out. "That's not bad," I admit.

"And then I put in another page here," he adds, clicking on the 'contact us' link. This pulls up a form that applicants or clients could fill out to report stuff. "When this is filled out, it automatically e-mails us," he continues. "The Computer Research Society had to help me get that set up - but I got us an e-mail address, too."

"Well! I was clearly right to assign this job to you!" I decide. Really - that's not bad at all!

He looks satisfied with that, and adds, "And if we get more content later, the entire thing uses..." And then he goes off into some technical tangent I can't quite follow involving 'css,' whatever that is.

"Perfect- Now we just need some activities and pictures we can put up there!"

He nods, rising from the chair and relinquishing the computer to me.

After that, well ... it's just boring waiting to see who sent that note. Being stuck in a holding pattern like this ... really sucks!

I hope things change soon.

* * *

Once it's time for clubs to let out, I release everyone and leave, heading toward our classroom at a swift clip. Not quite running, but I have to admit - I'm really curious to see what the hell this is all about!

It doesn't occur to me that it might be some kind of prank until I step through the doorway - and find myself face-to-face with Asakura Ryouko.

Ugh! That annoying, haughty girl...

"So, you sent me a note?" I ask, sounding as unimpressed as I feel.

"I did!" she admits, giving me a big smile, pressing her fingertips together before her. The lighting in the room from the setting sun casts half of her face in a blood-red glow. "You're right on time!"

"Yeah- What's this all about, anyway?" I ask, raising my eyebrows.

"Well, I'd hoped to talk to you! Really- I actually had a question..."

"Then spit it out already," I grumble.

"Alright," she says, beaming at me again, her hands going behind her back. "Do you feel it's better do something and regret it than not do it at all?"

That's a stupid question! "If you regret it, it seems pretty clear to me that you wish you hadn't done it."

She blinks at that. "Hmm, well- If you were stuck in a situation where doing nothing would make things worse, and you didn't know how to affect a positive change, what would you do?"

"Change _something_," I say, frowning. "That's got to be better than watching a sinking ship." Wait- Hold up! "Is this about Kyon? And you- What, you..." She _had_ come after me for 'leading Kyon on,' didn't she? "So, you're going to ask him out?"

"If that were an option, I might!" she says in a way-too-friendly voice.

"W...what the hell does _that_ mean?" This girl is pissing me off!

"Well- You agree that you would make a change to try and improve things, even if you had to face the consequences later, right?"

That's actually already happened to me a couple of times getting this far - all of them involving a certain time traveler that I think I dislike _just_ about as much as the class-representative I'm sharing a room with! "I already _told_ you - if you ask Kyon out, that's got _nothing_ to do with me," I snap.

Though, if what Koizumi says is true, he won't really care, will he? Hah!

Completely unperturbed, shifting from foot-to-foot slightly, she continues, "In that vein, my superiors are not capable of lateral thinking. They're really out of touch with how quickly things can change in this reality. Therefore, I'm compelled to do something in order to try and make a change - any change at all, don't you agree?"

"...this isn't about dating Kyon at all," I realize aloud, narrowing my eyes. "So! Which 'faction' are you with?"

"You could consider Nagato-san and I colleagues," she replies, her grin, if anything, widening. "Though, our own sponsors don't agree on ideal approaches."

Okay. Hang on a moment- So, she's interested in Kyon, but... "This sounds interesting!" I say, feeling a smile of my own forming. Hey - maybe I can get an ally out of this! "I didn't get what you were saying at first, but we're pretty close to being on the same page, here! So - what's your plan? You want to show things to Kyon, right?"

"That's right!" she agrees. "I want to see a reaction! Kyon-kun is heading toward becoming very stable- So, I want to change the environment to see how he responds!"

"Okay, change the environment how?"

"Well, if you're willing to work with me - kick him out of your club and never speak to him again."

...and then, from the potential and promise of something amazing, Asakura just circles straight back around to being stupid. "Uh, no," I reply. "Be serious - he sits _right behind_ me!" I'm not willing to go through with her idiotic plan, but even if I was: "How do you expect me to pull _that_ off?"

"Oh? So you're not willing to do that?" She pouts in a way that most guys would probably think is cute.

"That's really dumb," I advise her. "Instead, how about showing him some piece of amazing technology? That'll get a reaction, right?"

"I don't think it's the one I'm looking for... But I'm tired of observing the same things, day after day. I mean something unexpected that truly shocks him!"

"Proving you're an alien should do that!"

"He's watched too closely; there's no chance I could pull that off," Asakura says, almost apologetically. "Well, that's fine; I have a backup plan!"

"Alright, let's hear it," I say, putting my hands on my hips, not expecting much at this point.

"I'm going to kill you to see what sort of reaction Kyon-kun gives!" she chirps, beaming me the brightest smile she's offered yet.

"...what?" I manage, my hands dropping to my sides. "You're going all 'Nevada-tan' on me, now? Come on, that's not-"

I stop talking when she interrupts me, pulling out a _knife_ and declaring in that way-too-syrupy voice: "Suzumiya Haruhi, please die~!"

Holy shit, Kyon! I thought the _Brigade_ members were crazy about you, but this! Mikuru's got _nothing_ on Asakura!

When she starts rushing me from the center of the classroom, I don't waste any time- I don't think of myself as a coward, but I don't see any great reasons to stick around in a room with a knife-wielding psycho!

Except, when I get to the classroom door - it's _missing_. There's just a smooth continuation of the wall!

Instead of wasting time thinking about it, I grab the nearest chair and throw it at her as hard as I can. It bounces off some forcefield, but I'm working on running around her - even the window has got to be a better chance than facing her!

She laughs, like this is all very amusing to her, and as I throw another chair toward the window by Kyon's normal seat, something I can't _see_ wraps around me, freezing me perfectly in place. The chair slows before reaching the glass, and Asakura explains, "I have complete jurisdiction over this data-space; your efforts are futile!"

So ... there I am frozen in place, unable to even scream. Whatever Asakura did, I can't even _blink_. This isn't even a fight! A fight I might win, but all I can do is stare in silence as she launches herself toward me.

They say your life flashes before your eyes just before you're about to die. For me, it seems that even though she's streaking toward me like an anime character - there's a puff of dust behind her, and everything - time just slows down.

In an instant, she's covered half of the distance to me. An instant after that, half the remaining distance. Weirdly enough, all I can think of is Zeno's Dichotomy Paradox. If she only closes half of the distance to me every instant...

Of course, when she's about a meter away, the strange stuttering stops - she drifts forward more slowly, but also more fluidly. Her hair is wavering behind her, and the light gleaming off the blade of the knife doesn't change.

I suppose ... I should be glad my body's frozen, so at least I can't wet myself with terror. I can be murdered with some dignity... Kyon - you'd _better_ figure out the supernatural from this! You got me killed, after all!

But even as I think that, while watching Asakura's hyper-fast slow-motion charge, moving at more comprehensible speeds, something I did not at all expect enters my field of view. First the elbow of a boy's uniform, and then, resounding joy in my heart, the back of a hand, streaking toward Asakura's face.

The spell of me being frozen and Asakura moving in slow-motion is broken as a thunderous _slap_ resounds, the class representative being backhanded forcefully enough that she flies away, crashing into and knocking over Yanagimoto's desk. The knife clatters from her hand and skitters away across the floor as I jump back, my body shaking with relief that I'm not trapped anymore.

Instead of regarding my rescuer - probably Koizumi-kun, who I will have to consider my _real_ ally after this - I stare at Asakura. As hard as she was hit, and even though she's got a hand-shaped mark across her face, she looks more _surprised_ than _hurt_.

"Ah," she says, turning from where she's sprawled across the overturned desk. "That worked much better than I expected! This is very interesting-"

"Shut up," snaps a voice that is not Koizumi-kun's, causing another shiver to run down my spine- If I were older, I'd be having a heart attack here! "Go home, Asakura. Go home, and never come back to this planet again."

"Why?" she returns blithely, climbing to her feet and smiling just as much as before. "If I stay, I think even more-"

"Go home or I'll wipe your boss out," Kyon overrides her.

Before Asakura can even respond to that, one wall of the classroom abruptly explodes inward, and _Yuki_ leaps in through the breach. The bespectacled girl freezes when she lands on the floor, staring at me, then turning to regard Asakura. Her expression almost _never_ changes!

"Well- If you change your mind, let me know! I'd still love to play with you more some day," Asakura says, shrugging. Then, she spits out something that I can't puzzle out, and her body puffs into a cloud of shining particles. The shining specs all fritter away into nothingness over a matter of seconds, leaving that creepy smile of hers as the last thing to fade.

"_What the hell is going on_?" I shout, turning to stare at Kyon.

For all that I just had a near-death experience, Kyon still looks upset. Way more upset than he was with me! Koizumi-kun, according to what he told me, is probably freaking out about things now...

"I... I can explain everything," Kyon says, sounding strangely weak, compared to the force in his voice when he talked to Asakura. But that strength comes back to him when he rounds on Yuki and asks, "What took you so long, Nagato? Why weren't you here in time for her?"

The seemingly emotionless girl blinks, then lowers her face, her gaze oriented at Kyon's feet. "...insufficient data was gathered on the secondary observation target to predict this," she says, sounding the slightest bit hesitant. Then, her shoulders slumping the tiniest bit - I would have missed it if I weren't watching - she raises her face and looks at me. "I am sorry."

"Explanation!" I demand, my hands shaking.

"Give me a minute, Haruhi, please," he says, his voice strained. The fact that he uses my given name without permission gives me pause. I mean ... I'll allow it, but he said it so _casually_... Something doesn't feel quite right about this. And that's going beyond Kyon - entirely justified, if you ask me! - bitch-slapping a rogue alien into submission, and Yuki's own entrance!

I take a breath and turn to stare at the strange flickering, static-filled void that Yuki blasted her way in from.

"Nagato, you managed to save me, though - why not her?"

"I do not recall such an incident," Yuki answers.

"Ah, right ... you're not the same Nagato..." He trails off at that, a look of pain on his face. "Ah ... again..."

Enough is enough - I grab his arm and turn him to face me, glaring into his eyes. I also keep a grip on his arm - just in case he tries to get away or something. "I. Want. _Answers_," I growl out, one word at a time.

"Yeah, sorry," he mumbles, shying away from me as much as he can while I'm holding onto him. "Oh, I've really screwed this all up..." He heaves a sigh and raises his free arm- The scene around us shifts, and we're suddenly in the Brigade room.

Like _that_! That is pretty cool. I'd be a lot more impressed and happy if I wasn't almost _stabbed_, though, so I keep my grip and look around, but...

Things aren't ... quite right. The bookshelf is completely stuffed with books. The tea set has had some additions to it - all kinds of interesting things are hanging on the walls, too! The costume rack has extra costumes in it, ranging from a miko outfit, a waitress uniform, a witch's cape, and ... a frog costume?

There's an extra table with a pile of laptops on it, a small refrigerator... "Interesting changes," I allow. "So, are you going to spill, or what?"

"The... The problem here," Kyon says uneasily, "is that you actually don't remember ... ugh. Well, I'm sorry about this. So ... I have to give you back your memories." He barks out a short, bitter laugh, shaking his head sharply. "I went through it, so I know you'll be fine... I'm really sorry about all of this."

Wait- Why didn't Yuki come with us? She just got left behind? I'm too excited to sit down and listen to this right now! Kyon doesn't sit down either, he just points at the door. It suddenly slams open, revealing-

...I didn't think things could _get_ any crazier.

* * *

After everything went dark, I didn't really know what to expect. Imagine my confusion when after all of that production - I found myself standing in the hall outside the clubroom door. "Oh, for the love of-" I cut off, hearing a _creepily_ familiar voice snap some shrill orders, and then Kyon's mumbled reply. He's _sorry_, is he? Well!

I kick the door open, ready to give Kyon a piece of my mind and demand an explanation. I only manage to take two steps inside before freezing.

At this point, demanding an explanation would pretty much just be echoing _that_ person. _That_ person being what looks like ... well ... a copy of _me_!

The other Haruhi's mouth drops open, her eyes wide as saucers. "Ah! I get it!" she exclaims, giving an excited grin. "You're me from the future!"

...I have no answer for that right now, so I turn to Kyon. "What the _hell_ is going on here? I'm _positive_ it's something paranormal! Chairs don't just move like that on their own, and I _felt_ something at the same time! So, anyway, what is she - some version of me from an alternate dimension?"

"Kind of a little of both," Kyon says uncomfortably, adressing the pair of us.

"That's all you got for paranormal experiences?" the other me says, sounding annoyed and unimpressed - and also _still_ hanging onto Kyon's arm. I'm not sure how to feel about that. "Bah- I just had Asakura Ryouko come at me with a _knife_!"

That sounds scary, but it's hard to imagine that girl - I can really only barely remember her - being violent. Still, there's one problem with her story. "A knife is hardly paranormal," I scoff. "Now - what are you doing with my subordinate?"

"_Your_ subordinate!" the other me replies, indignant.

Kyon interrupts, "Um, you two are the same person - both of you are Haruhi. Just ... touch hands, and everything will go back together."

"Oh, yeah?" that other me says, scowling.

"Really, I'd rather have a goddamn _explanation_!" I snap, annoyed to be siding with her when she's still clinging to Kyon like that.

"As soon as you do that, you'll get it," Kyon says. Really ... I was too distracted by the other things to notice it, but... I've seen Kyon really stressed, but not often. I've seen him really angry very few times... Right now, I think I'm seeing a new look from him - one I'm not used to.

I think ... he looks depressed.

"Alright," I agree, fixing my double with a wary look. "If she can pry herself off you..." I prompt, extending one hand.

Her eyes shoot wide and she releases Kyon like he was suddenly electrified. "Eh- Well, for answers," she agrees, taking my hand without hesitation.

The second our hands touch, I'm completely overwhelmed with a surge of memories - and everything goes dark.

_Again_.

Damn it, Kyon...


	8. Epilogue: A Power No One Can Contain

Sympathy

A 'Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' fanfiction

Epilogue - A Power No One Can Contain

Disclaimer: The novel series of Suzumiya Haruhi that began with 'The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' is the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. No disrespect is intended by the posting of this fanfiction, as I do not own the characters or settings involved. I'm merely dabbling with another set of paints.

* * *

Kyon said I'd remember everything if I took the hand of that other copy of me. He also said we were the same person. And both an alternate dimension version of me _and_ a time traveler.

Somehow, after our hands touched and everything went dark, he was right, though. I remembered everything from our time together - the good and the bad - right up until Kyon's irritation and my frustration met head-on.

But- I _also_ remember being a weaker, less capable version of me, going through a much crappier and _weirder_ take on my first few months of high school. Setting that all aside, it's kind of painful actually, remembering everything she-

No... Everything _I_ did, there.

She was _me_.

Still - why were things harder for me? Why did so much just not go my way that time around? Why was _Kyon_ so much more adept at things that time?

...the answer is pretty obvious, once I put everything together and take my last clear memory in the, I guess, original timeline into consideration. Specifically, what he said when I was in the clubroom with him. Once I take that into account, it's pretty damn obvious.

So ... he went through _that_? And ... I had some crazy _power_? Evidently I accidentally gave it to him-

I am really, really pissed off at this; there's so much just wrong and messed up about this entire situation! I thought Kyon was kind of a nice guy - but I slip up and give him a chance, and he pulls _this_ on me?

My eyes fly open and I realize I must have fallen or tipped over after me and... After I took my own hand, I guess. Kyon must have caught me; I guess it took a while for me to sort everything out. So there I am, cradled in his arms and looking up at him. And now, what, now he thinks he can take advantage of me?

What a _bastard_!

"So ... you thought it was funny to watch me the entire time, remembering everything and playing dumb?" I growl at him.

Well - _fine_ then! Before he has a chance to answer me, since his arms are still supporting me, he has no ability to protect himself when I swing my arm toward him. The angle's not that great, considering where I'm held, and I don't have that much practice hitting people, so I can't put much force into it - but I slap him across the face hard enough my palm stings a little.

He grunts slightly in surprise, and his head turns with the blow - not even _close_ to what he'd hit Asakura with - without dropping me. After that, he slumps in resignation, like I just burst a seal and let the air out of him. He stands there almost listlessly, only supporting me in his arms, his face turned slightly away.

"No," he says, his voice a little rough. "I didn't... What Asakura did tripped a ... failsafe. I didn't ... think about that part specifically, but I didn't want you to be hurt, so my memories came back to me right before then so that I could..." He trails off, just looking the same way, not meeting my eyes.

That catches me- So, he didn't play with the powers he had at all? He set up that stupid stunt ... but then put himself into it, too?

It's pretty much impossible to be mad at Kyon when I think he's already mad at _himself_. It seems pretty clear that events went way past what he expected. Looking at things more critically, it wasn't that I thought Kyon was 'kind of a nice guy.' Going through it twice... Well, I know what I feel now; that second start, it didn't get a _whole_ lot further than a crush ... but it was absolutely headed in that direction.

I'd be lying to myself at this point if I claimed I didn't know how I felt, and I've just been through _way_ too much to keep that up.

If there's symmetry between our situations, then I know exactly _why_ he's so upset with himself. And I think ... I would be, too. Hell, if he went through that same crap... And then, at the end of last Spring, didn't he _try_ to tell me? And what did I do?

Cursed him out and made him pay for the bill.

No _wonder_ he didn't press harder afterwards!

I move my hand toward his head again, and his eyes shut, but he doesn't even try and flinch away.

...I can't hit him. I shouldn't have hit him the _first_ time- Stupid knee-jerk reaction! So - a power that makes your desires reality? And what did I really want, anyway? To understand him better - to think he'd learn to understand _me_ better!

And then when I get that, the first moment I get a chance to face him afterward, I blow it all by _slapping_ him? Really smooth, Suzumiya.

I don't like to screw up- No one does.

No way in _hell_ am I going to do it twice in a row!

With his eyes closed, he doesn't react when my hand slows, tracing across the side of his head before I reach up a little further and grab the back of his head, my fingers going through his hair. Considering what he was expecting, he's totally bewildered when I pull him in for a kiss.

This time the clumsy guy _does_ drop me - or would if I weren't hanging onto him by that point. That doesn't stop me from pressing my lips against his, though, and judging by the surprised sound he makes, and him belatedly putting his arms around me, I got _that_ part spot on.

So ... sorry about that, Kyon. That feels right, somehow- Or at least _better_. And it's not like he doesn't kiss me _back_, so I don't think things have gotten to a point where we can't fix them.

When I let him come up for air, his face is red - except for the discoloration where I slapped him. I regret that. He might have deserved it a _little_, but probably not that much.

Still- I cough and step away after recovering my footing. There's a hell of a lot going on right now, and as much fun as it might be, trying to go straight into make-outs after that... Really, we need to talk.

"S...so," I say, turning around, looking about the clubroom. Outside it's dim, and there's no sign of other people. Now that I think about it, there's no real visible source of light, just kind of a general illumination all around us.

"So- What's going on with the world, then?"

"Uh," Kyon manages, sounding as unbalanced as I think he ought to. "Um. Thi...this is a kind of ... a halfway point between our world, and the one I made when ... I was..."

Man, Kyon - sometimes you're just impossible. You get an amazing power and use it to, what, give yourself the most epic guilt trip in the history of amazing things?

"So, those are two separate worlds? How can that make sense, if both me and you were also in both of them?" I press. "The Yuki that showed up to fight Asakura- She's not from our original world?"

"I... I didn't really think everything out," Kyon says slowly. "But ... I guess you don't _have_ to with this power. It just didn't do things I didn't want ... so, I didn't want to destroy or erase a world. It made a new one, and both of us got moved over to it, with our memories reset... Everyone... Everyone else is a copy, based on a divergence in the past of our old world, and not ... the people we actually know."

"So, you're telling me that Mikuru _isn't_ some terrifying manipulative bitch?" I ask warily, unable to tack on a '-chan' for the time traveler after seeing that horrible other version of her.

He cringes at that. "I... I don't think so," he mumbles. "Koizumi once said she might be ... to try and manipulate me to..." He trails off, but I follow the implications _really_ well by this point!

There's just so much to go over here, though!

"And Koizumi-kun, then? I'm guessing it was the same deal, since you wanted our situations swapped?"

"He... Kind of," Kyon says morosely, still looking completely off-balance. At least that kiss seems to have cleared _some_ of his depression. And I can't say it didn't make me feel a little better, too. "The whole plan was to help you settle and calm down, and he ... uh, he really spent a lot of time trying to push me to spend more time with you..."

I can follow _that_ implication, too. "Well, forget about _that_- We can make that decision on our _own_," I tell him.

He shakes slightly, eyes widening. It's _kind_ of nice to see him off-balance, but too much is too much.

"I don't even know where to begin, but we need to talk about this," I say, taking Kyon's hand and pulling him to the table. He doesn't resist, and as anxious and confused as I am by this, I pace back and forth on the other side of the table from him once he's seated.

Even though I still want to hit Kyon with a barrage of questions, I can't help but think about another time we were in this room, when the lighting was similar. I'm tempted to order Kyon to make tea again, but for one thing, his tea tastes awful, and for another- There's a solution, though!

"Stay there," I order, waving a hand at him and moving to the tea set myself. There's water already, so I keep myself busy with that. Where do we even start to deal with this? Wait! I think I know what I need to hear.

"Kyon, tell me about everything- From the beginning," I order, setting a cup of tea in front of him and then taking the seat opposite from him. "And ... be as honest as you always tried to be since that one day, before... A...anyway- It's pretty clear I don't _really_ know the other members of my Brigade, so ... tell me about them? If they're better than the versions I found here..."

"O...okay," Kyon says. He shakes his head and offers a really weak, somewhat rueful smile. "I ... used to think about how I'd tell you these things a lot, kind of writing a story in my head, really. Um, so, from the very beginning, for me... Alright, please bear with me - there's rather a lot to tell."

I give him a solid nod of confirmation, setting my own teacup down.

He clears his throat, and seems to recover a tiny bit of lost confidence as he starts, a bit further back than I expected: "When did I stop believing in Santa Claus? In truth, this sort of silly question holds no real significance for me. However..."

* * *

Kyon's story takes a surprising amount of time to tell. When it gets too heavy, I waste some time keeping our tea refreshed. We break a few times to use the washroom down the hall.

When we get hungry, there's a stack of boxed lunches and small cartons of milk in the fridge that reappear every time the door is closed - they were probably pretty good, but I was processing _way_ too much to really taste them. We don't get tired at all, which right now is just fine by me.

Some of it ... I'll probably need _days_ to entirely figure out. Mostly, I listen to how he went through meeting the other Brigade members. I'm really glad he's being totally honest, but he is _not_ making it easy for me to keep from disliking the face I saw on Mikuru in the alternate world. Especially that part about her opening her shirt to show him that mole, or how her older self _was_ as manipulative (to her younger self, no less!) as I suspected based on the alternate one-

Anyway, I keep it together, and don't say anything except to ask questions. It probably goes without saying that the hardest part of the explanation to deal with is filming that movie... Ugh.

After that, and everything _else_ going on with Mikuru, I'm pretty sure I'm done with the entire idea of a sequel.

Some of it's not that scary - it sounds like somewhere in there, he had some fun, too. I can't feel _totally_ awful about the things I did with my power ... when I had it. I don't feel _great_, but at least having had to go through the first part of something similar, I can understand where he's coming from.

...I guess, in a way, that power really did give me exactly what I wanted, didn't it? And with Kyon acting like this instead of being his typical snarky self, it's pretty clear he's at least _trying_ to understand me better, too. Though ... being honest ... he really doesn't do that poor a job of it. It's a bit embarassing, listening to his insights into _me_ from back then.

I'm kind of ticked off he didn't tell me right away when he time traveled, but I understand his reasons. At this point, him telling me he was John Smith is just a tiny surprise on the huge pile. But - it really _does_ make sense.

I feel about as depressed as he sounds when he tells me about an alternate world from December - the one _before_ the one he made ... just for me, I guess. I'm not sure how _I_ like the implication of erasing entire _worlds_. I wanted more out of summer vacation, but _that_ much?

That's ... just too much to deal with, though, so I set it aside for later. We have all the time we need to sort things out, here, so we might as well do that - one thing at a time.

The whole story does give me a good idea of how he's feeling about what _he_ did, though. Even if it was in one of those extraordinarily rare fits of temper that Kyon almost never actually gets...

That's not my _entire_ takeaway. I do catch the way he doesn't _quite_ admit it directly, but he does explain his reasons for coming back from that world. It gets a bit more obvious when he admits he flirted with me near last Valentine's day - like I missed that! - but after that kiss, I think I'd probably be pretty upset with him if he didn't admit _something_.

It's actually kind of amazing, reading between the lines, how he admits that he was attracted to me physically ... but then put effort into learning who I really was. Being honest, I _always_ liked that he actually put effort into getting to know me. Now, I would be annoyed if he just liked my looks, but what girl doesn't want to be told she's pretty by the guy she likes? Especially when he follows it up with how much he learned and...

Yeah, I know I've got some rough spots, but his throwaway comment that he thinks I'd be 'just as lovely as Asahina-san if I could smile more gently' - it may sound kind of backhanded, but the honest way he says it and the glint in his eyes makes my knees a little weak. It also means that if I show him a gentler smile once in a while, I probably don't need to worry about Mikuru manipulating him...

Give the boy some credit - he can be surprisingly- Er, but-

That's all getting distracted, and as much fun as it might be, there _are_ bigger issues looming. He's more vague when he gets to the end, about the thing that made him angry at his middle-school friend's associates, but given everything else, I can see plenty of reasons to let that slide.

Once he finishes, his voice a little rough, he reaches for his cup of tea.

"Well, it's a pretty screwed up way of doing things, but I'll take it over being asked out over the phone," I decide. "Um ... and ... sorry about smacking you," I manage, trying to smile. I mean, Kyon's an easy-going guy ... is it alright? "I wish I hadn't, so... I really am sorry.

"I mean, I want to have fun, and I want adventures - but ... it sounds like in the past, I've caused a _lot_ of damage by being careless. Such a power ... no matter how much fun it is, it's _not_ a toy, is it?" I realize aloud. "If we can set things right... Saving the world by overloading it with fun is great - but some of the things that I put you through without realizing it are _terrifying_ - and I didn't much enjoy the parts I went through myself!

"So ... I think I'm glad I never realized what I could do with that power. I've done enough harm on accident, if I had learned about my power and used it irresponsibly..." He starts at that, eyes widening, and I try my best to give him a hopeful smile. I think if anyone could be trusted with that power, knowing what it could do, it'd be him, honestly.

"T...that's the smile," he starts, before cutting off. He looks a tiny bit abashed - absolutely, he's recovering from things. And that's a reassurance to me, too. If I don't really know the Brigade that well, at least I can believe that I really _do_ know Kyon. Much better now than before we got into that stupid argument that eventually brought us here, too.

"Okay," he says, after a breath, giving me one of his rare, knee-wobbling smiles. Guess that's a two-way street, too! "I think... I think that right there proves that you're the one who should have these powers, not me."

I bite my tongue at that; personally, I've come to the conclusion that ... really, unless it's someone who just doesn't care about other people at all... Well, I don't say anything, because if what he's doing is what I _think_ he's doing, this would be a terrible time to distract him.

He doesn't say anything or make a gesture beyond bowing his head slightly. "Haruhi ... thank you for being so reasonable about all of this. And I really _am_ sorry..." Then, he looks a little off balance, putting his hands on the table.

At the same time, I feel a tingling in the back of my head and become a bit dizzy myself. I _also_ feel like my senses just got a bit sharper. Seems reasonable, though; the power comes with some fringe benefits.

"I can't ... quite like that I only _really_ did so much better because I had an unfair advantage," I say slowly. "And I'm not trying to say you're wrong, but seeing things now ... this isn't a good power at all, really. It's just ... too dangerous. Even with the best of intentions- I've figured out something about this."

"W...what?" Kyon asks, shaking his head, looking concerned.

"I'm not going to do anything stupid," I assure him, trying that smile again- He settles almost instantly. Yeah ... stupid power. I bet without it clearing so many obstacles from my path, I would have learned that all it _really_ took to reach him was just being freaking _nice_ about things much sooner! Come to think of it - that's exactly what I was starting to realize just before running into Asakura.

Ugh!

"O...okay, then what did you figure out?" he asks, breaking me out of my distraction.

"This kind of power needs to be handled carefully," I say slowly. I'm not ... _really_ sure how to consciously control it, but I figure it does what I want. And what I want most of all right now is to _not_ screw up and use it on accident, or let my subconscious do something really stupid with it. "And ... even if you were pissed off and had a knee-jerk reaction, I learned something important. Actually, a _lot_ of important things.

"The big thing about this power is ... I don't believe that, no matter what someone intends, that _anyone_ should have this power."

His eyes widen, and he looks nervous, uncertain. "Y...you're going to get rid of it?" he asks in surprise.

"Dummy," I chastize him. "I think both of us have been careless with our power, and there's some things we still need to fix with what we've done- But that's aside from the point.

"One other thing about this power that's bothering me is ... the fringe benefits alone make it really ... well, unfair! I...if we're going to start going out," and then I fix him with a sharp, challenging look, because as far as I can tell, we _are_, "how the hell would that work as a relationship if the one who held the power was just always automatically _better_ at things?"

He doesn't say anything, but I can tell from his face he's had thoughts like that of his own. It wasn't like I particularly enjoyed those memories of the alternate world where I had to slave away just to keep up with Kyon. Even from his story, there were tiny hints of things I could easily see leading to resentment for how hard _he_ had to work ... and couldn't keep up at all. If he weren't so much of an easy-going slacker...

But even that has finite limits!

Anyway, talk about stealing all of the meaning from trying to impress him - or anything _else_ I ever tried! It's nice to win, and it's great to be good at the game - but if you're always going to win no matter what just because of who you are, why bother? Looking at it that way, the fight Kyon put up the entire time I've known him ... honestly ... makes me feel like my connection with him is one of the very few things I really _earned_.

"Anyway, the other thing about this is, for all that we want to try and fix things up with the Brigade, how can I really get to know them, when they're worried about what I might do with it? There has to be a limiter or failsafe - and both of us, I think want to go undo some other damage we might have done, too."

I can't help but think about what he said about erasing that other world to be with me, or his mumbled, guilty mention of nightmares about it. Then again, there's some things _I_ did I'm not happy about. We may not be able to change what happened, according to Kyon's understanding of time travel, but we can at least work together to make sure nothing else goes wrong.

Right?

"I- I trust you, though," he answers, shaking his head. "I know you don't want ... bad things to happen-"

"But they did anyway!" I cut him off. "You know what path they say is paved with good intentions! Really, I should be happy that things weren't _worse_! No, the thing about this is ... no _one_ should have this power."

He blinks at me, and I finish figuring out what the best answer is. What I _really_ want. Sympathy? Symmetry? If there's going to be any kind of balance between us, he needs to be on some kind of equal footing, right?

"So- For us to fix things ... from now on, it's going to be _our_ power, and we'll work together to use it- And if we don't agree, then nothing will happen." I feel a much milder sense of dizziness and tingling as the power does exactly what I want, and I can see from his slight wobble that it must have worked for him, too.

He looks astounded, and I can't help but grin. There's a lot of work left, probably - and we've got to talk about a hell of a lot more, as well. But this feels like a good start!

...right up until I realize I'm suddenly sitting in his lap, anyway. "Eh," I manage.

He looks incredibly embarrassed, suddenly, and turns his head away, his face reddening. That, that- That insufferable-

...okay. Calm down, Suzumiya! Admit to yourself that you wanted it too, or it wouldn't have happened! That _is_ what I decided we should do, right?

And it's not like we haven't kissed - twice before - anyway.

"Obviously, we're going to need some practice," I add as dryly as I can, imitating him even as my own face warms up.

Hey, thinking about those kisses- He started one, I started the other... Third time's the charm, right?

So I let my eyes drift shut and tilt my face up, feeling that smile come to my lips - before his touch mine. Yeah, I thought he might have the same idea; the others were already pretty good, but a mutual kiss is better by far.

After a few minutes of that, we both break off for air. Even if it's just the two of us in the room, both of us blush, and I climb off his lap the old-fashioned way.

"T...that was a whole lot of fun," I say, unable to stop grinning, "but let's not get _too_ distracted just yet!"

"Y...yeah," Kyon agrees, sounding somewhat dazed still. "U...um, we should go back to the others, and ... figure out how we're going to sort things out from here."

Even if I screwed up and blew her off, Yuki's probably our best friend in the Brigade. At least, the most honest one. From what I can tell, I want to learn more about her and see if I can really be her friend, too - like Kyon is! Hey, he got to be friends with an alien, right? How cool is that!

I don't know about Koizumi-kun, but I'd like to know who _he_ really is, too. At least, I can't like that he shows us a facade; if he wants to be our friend, well... I guess we need to be able to show him he can _be_ honest with us - maybe just _me_, really. How else will we get to know him?

And ... Mikuru. Mikuru's _absolutely_ getting her personal space from me, from now on- I want to learn more about who _our_ Mikuru really is, just like the others. With her, though... With her it's probably going to be hard to be _friends_, considering that even Kyon admits it's hard to trust her future self.

Thinking of what her older self told Kyon, I guess she doesn't hang around us much in the future. I'm not really thrilled with the prospects, but if we can part on good terms, that'll be good, at least. I can't be happy about predetermination suggesting we don't part on good terms...

On the idea of timelines, I'm not thrilled about the idea of talking with Mikuru so soon ... but running from that won't get us anywhere. It'd be unreasonable not to try and give her the same chance that I want to give Koizumi-kun and Yuki, anyway.

"We'll go back," I agree. "And we'll fix things up with the rest of the Brigade- Maybe tell their bosses to screw off, too!"

"That's fine by me," he agrees, looking _really_ reassured for the first time since before this whole thing started.

Still - after all we've been through, for just a _bit_ before we return and confuse the hell out of everyone with this new situation... I haven't moved _that_ far from him anyway, so I lean in again. Kyon's kiss is a bit more energetic, and I'm not going to complain about that too much as his arms go around me and-

Well!

Anyway- Once we finish catching our breath, I look into Kyon's eyes and smile, allowing a final, "Together."

* * *

Author's notes: Special thanks to everyone on Soulriders who helped with their feedback! :)


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